he said it

he's fine with owning it. he said it again. he doesn't expect me to say it back. he believes it's too soon for me. he's never felt anything so "unfettered".

interesting choice of words. he must be accustomed to much more high-maintenance women. or they simply crumple under the weight of his need to be front and center. he can be a bit of a typhoon that way, lol. when he arrived last night to meet me, i was sharing a bottle with a chef i've known (and liked!) for years. the editor was verbal locomotive, til i finally told him my head was going to explode, which made t. roar. we both had been nudge-nudge-wink-wink complicit in not getting a word in edgewise! the editor calmed down tout suite. it's a truly peculiar way of overcompensating for his introversion. i'm glad he knows he needs to be called on for it, or it would be unbearable.

so, ok, i'm loved. am i ok with that? i am completely twisted by lacking reciprocity, yet he seems delighted by me and his feelings. i "have breathed new life into him." i wish his emotions were powerful enough to cancel others i still hold so deeply.