Thursday, February 24, 2011

bad pennies

i see a guy waiting to be interviewed. i recognize him as having been fired from 2 places i worked, one a very long time and he was old then. i wasn't his supervisor, so don't know why, other than having been on the back end of his general ineptitude. i share this with my co-workers. when the guy is finally out of the building, they tell my gm. who asks me what's up.

he is genuinely SHOCKED. like :O-kinda face, shocked i tell you, that neither of the places in which i knew the guy are on his resumé. i have to bite my lip as to not laugh. i explain i have nothing personal against the guy, am just sharing information. has he never interviewed a waiter before?

he is hired.

as heard here

"drop your 5-top and make it a 4." ok, done. "now make it a 7-top." ok.

i turn around and it is 2 fat, harried-looking parents, 2 very tired kids, under the age of 10, and an infant ready to go full-tilt any second.

"we'll just have water and for god's sake, could we have some menus?" underwhelmed by their charm, i comply. "uh, could we have the kids' menu?" "sorry, but we don't have a kid's menu..." before i can finish my statement about the bar menu and what other kids tend to eat, the mother snaps," well, if you don't have a kids' menu, we might just have to leave."

seriously? don't break my heart, lady.

unfortunately, they stay and even though the kids had chicken fingers for lunch and both say they aren't hungry, they order them anyway. they smush ketchup about their plates and each eat like 1 piece. i attempt to engage them asking about the toy alligator and such, and the chilluns seem weirdly nice, with 2 such miserable 'rents.

the baby finally explodes, the mom starts packing up, while the dad is still eating, i go over to ask if i can get them anything else, "obviously," she snaps, "just the check." i clear away what i can and bring it over. the dad is still smacking his lips, chewing, and starts fishing out crumpled paper money from all over his person.

mom had soup and salad, fingers for the kids and dad had a steak and a veg. the bill was $96. ridiculous, yes, i already know that and we all know it's why i whore myself out in the place that i do.

he left less than 10% and a table and floor that looked like a damn barrel of grenades had gone off.

and you wonder why i hate people? seriously?