Saturday, September 20, 2008

noodle note

much like an editor's note...

while doing a quick search for the girdle image down below, i was reminded of a few tidbits for which i didn't have time this morning.

the contraptions women once strapped on under suits and chemises, even in the hottest of weather, (liz taylor in "cat on a hot tin roof", anybody?) weren't really designed to make a size 14 look like a 6. the concept was to disguise and restrain any jiggling girly bits as much as possible. even mary tyler moore "slept" in a bra as mary richards on that pull-out couch. very few women then were all that FAT, ya know? it was prudishness on display, not the concealment of piggishness.

marilyn monroe's dress size is often slagged about to make modern fat women feel better somehow. we've all seen her lost eyes and jello on springs walk. we've seen her upskirted in the "seven year itch" and steam-whistled in "some like it hot". (where she actually was in trouble with the studio over her weight, which was then her heaviest at about 140 on her 5'6" frame...) curvy, buxom, female -- fat? no way. most of her clothes and all of her costumes were custom-made, so her *size* is kinda moot. her studio stats put her at a 23" waist. fat? uh, no. women were actually smaller -- thinner-- so vintage sizes correspond much differently to today's bodies.

we'll leave this at the impossibility for a big-busted/small-hipped woman to buy a fitted dress off the rack. not to mention how the digits then skew. mock the amount of clothes i may seem to have, but i can count my dresses on less than 2 hands. i can't zipper a size 14 dress, but a size 6 skirt fits just fine. men will never get this, i guess. nor will they get the number obsession that stretches from the closet to the scale. (oh, it's getting late and my noodle is wandering...)

lastly, i read an interview with an actor in that show "swingtown", which takes place in the 70s. he's frequently shot poolside and looks very trim with nice abs. he was complaining about having to drop weight for the role and always being starving -- because peeps back then were so much thinner. imagine that. most actors are fanatics about their weight and bodies, especially those not on the a-list and so vying for parts. has our national appetite increased that much? not everybody smoked then, and nobody on the show does, lol. even sarah michelle gellar, this summer much mocked for her cellulite, warned that *we* regular peeps shouldn't try to look like them, since being skinny is soooooooo part of their job.

we'll leave aside the freaky-skeery skinny out there, in the celeb skeletor-land of girl-womenz like keira knightley, courtney cox and victoria beckham. dried figs to marilyn's melons?

me? i just wanna fit in those damn pants, lol.

Friday, September 19, 2008

other ladies' pants

perhaps it should be "pants"? ya know, the air quotation mark kinda thing?

yesterday i had a pre-production meeting with a co-worker. we both were wearing fitted black skirts that fell slightly above the knee. she is about my height, and about 12 years my junior. she mostly wears skirts, and i'm frequently struck by how the legs of somebody so young can so utterly lack muscle tone.

she shifted in her chair and i caught a glimpse of very ugly beige. omg. yup. she was sausage-stuffed into some sort of control garment. shapewear. bodywear. what would it be called? bigger than a girdle cuz it went past her upper thigh.

the owner was incredulous in finding a news article about this stuff. we have more than once poked our fingers at somebody who could visually benefit. am i shocked that she was wearing it? actually, yeah. it never occurred to me. i don't think of her as "big". not shapely, really, but very far from objectionable, as the owner might put it.

and i sped back in time to junior high and girls stuffing their bras. what happens when the boy sees what is not, or nowadays, what actually IS, contained within? and does it make like a boingo sound, or maybe a squishy noise, when it's sprung free?

jeebus.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

long pants, the ladies' version

a quick tally today shows it's been 54 days since i've worn pants. looks to be sunny and warm for awhile still, too. in my previous job, the kitchen was so swampy, i wound up having to wear water-proof clogs and cheap black pants everyday to prevent getting slimed.

the owner's dictum, the mini-staycation i enjoyed, the stunning string of gorgeous weather, my new job that often has me going days without even entering the kitchen (which is often empty anyway) all have brought a very pleasant wardrobe change. the icing on this cake is my diminishing size. skirts that haven't slipped over my butt in years are now out and about. i'm also enjoying the calf extension and hip-sway a girl gets walking in pretty high heels.

the mouse turd in the layer cake? i'm still not yet small enough for my old slacks. i'm holding weight in places i never did and it's being hormonally stubborn. phooey. the first month or so of working out regularly i watched pounds evaporate. yup, very good for an instant gratification gal comme moi. although i'm getting back into more and more outfits, the depletion of me is now achingly slow. i know all about melting fat and building muscle and i'm working hard -- feeling that pang of superiority watching chubsters take a stroll on the treadmill, while i sweat my ass off. literally, i guess, just not fast enough for my liking.

ok, enough whining. it doesn't burn many kcals. off to the gym. i have to have size 4 slacks in my near future. :)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

church and state are no longer separate here

a tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious.

~~aristotle

i have gone on here about bush's terrifying world view that armageddon will make everything alright. he trammels the constitution and sovereignty of nations, yadda yadda. now we've got his demon redux in an up-do. palin believes god wants a pipeline and that invading iraq was part of *his plan". her young unwed pregnant daughter is following god's will.

my own faith (or lack thereof) in god aside, i am sick to death of people speaking for him. their hubris in claiming he speaks TO THEM. directly to them. ffs!!! if he's all that, isn't he kinda busy???

GAHHH!

where would jesus drill?

it's a small world, redux

a ny times reporter this week offered up his impressions from talking to many "average mohammeds" in cairo. he spoke with dozens of peeps in cafes, markets and university quads. with both mccain and his pitbull eager to blow up more places and show the world who's da boss, i found it deeply disturbing.

it was a sentient and nuanced piece -- the reason i still read the news. the majority in that region distrusts its government and disbelieves the msm -- that outlet seeming to be no more than a propaganda arm for _____________(insert mubarak or another hookah-pal here.) further, they will not be swayed from thinking that israel and the u.s. are in cahoots on all world matters, large and small.

he found no one who thought al queda was responsible for the attacks on 9/11. no one. how could a few guys in remote caves pull off something so devastating? they all had *incontestable* truth that no jews went to work at the world trade center that morning. (pentagon never seems to figure in these sorts of things, but i don't imagine that bloc as much of a haven for semites anyway.) the u.s. and israel did it as an excuse to make arabs look evil and as an excuse to invade iraq. they hold no doubt. none.

from the article:

"there are arabs who hate america, a lot of them, but this is too much,” mr. abbas said as he fidgeted with his cellphone. “and look at what happened after this — the americans invaded two muslim countries. they used 9/11 as an excuse and went to iraq. they killed saddam, tortured people. how can you trust them?”

even this egyptian is suffering from the dissonance.

i couldn't subject myself to any of the covention airtime. even i am not that masochistic. however, flak after flak has beaten in the point that neither palin nor mccain mentioned the economy in their speeches. americans often uninsured, losing their homes, jobs and hope held no spot on the republican platform.

in a strangely related piece, fdr's articulate words have again been brought forth for me.


seventy-two years ago, in his renomination acceptance speech at the democratic convention in philadelphia (before an audience of over 100,000), fdr rose above the boiler-plate rhetoric of political speeches and spoke of his generation’s “rendezvous with destiny.” he warned of the perils to the nation of economic inequality. “liberty,” he said, “requires opportunity to make a living, a living decent according to the standard of the time, a living which gives man not only enough to live by, but something to live for.”

roosevelt’s words echo across the decades because they resonate with the very meaning of america, a meaning that is so much deeper than what our politics now seem to be. “we are fighting,” he told his audience, “to save a great and precious form of government, for ourselves and for the world.”

in a global poll of over 30,000 people, a staggering margin supported obama for president. tens of thousands of miles away, they know our president still can make or break the world.

we have broken it.

much of the world still believes we can make amends and move ahead.

can we?

will we?


Saturday, September 06, 2008

money talks

immediately after sarah palin's speech at the rnc, mccain received $1 million in contributions.

in the same time frame, obama received $10 million.

i can hope, right?



Thursday, September 04, 2008

celebrity bizarro land

last weekend, both madonna and michael jackson turned 50. back in the day, they were the queen and king of pop. hit after hit on top 40 radio, spilling out of dorm rooms, jukeboxes and clubs. amazing videos. pepsi commercials. soundtrack of the 80s and early 90s, for many my age. (never owned an album by either, fyi, but could sing along well enough after a few drinks.)

regardless of what their flaks say, i think it safe to posit both have gone under the knife. and safe to say to VERY different results, lol.

she remains an international icon. her concerts sell out at whopping sums and she still pumps out hit singles. she looks amazing. (those arms!) kabbalah la-la and a-rod rumors aside, she's a wife, mother and superstar, 25 years running.

he celebrated his birthday with cartoons and cookies. he has gone beyond strange looking with a nose that no longer stays attached to his face. he is mired in debt and foreclosure battles, even after buying out much of the beatles catalogue. when was the last time he made a new record? can he even sing anymore? he seems far too frail to moonwalk. last known to be living in bahrain? let's not even talk about those kids under the veils.

further whackness...

lynne spears, mother to trainwrecks britney and teenage single mom jaime lynne, called a posh l.a. baby store and ordered a gift -- baby burp cloths to be sent in her daughter jaime lynne's name to that another unwed mom-to-be in the great white north, bristol palin. (whose hockey hunk b.f. i totally would have done in school.)

lastly, little lost mackenzie phillips. her tv sister valerie bertinelli making a comeback, skinny again, ditched the booze-bag husband, and has tv deals. poor mac -- arrested at the airport holding heroin and coke. now headed to her 10th stint in rehab. jeebus.


Monday, September 01, 2008

please... hurt me

welcome to the opposite land in which this noodle lives.

on a relationship forum i used to frequent more often, there were countless cyclical threads that all essentially began, "please, don't hurt me." the heart, the soul, the psyche as precious candy glass and the lover (most often the female making the plea, so the hapless dude) was left to tread on always shifting eggshells.

these women had been hurt before and wanted no more of it. it always struck me as an impossible burden and then secondly, a terrible projection. what man or woman could possibly meet that expectation? to *never* hurt you? few wake up in the morning intending to hurt their beloved, ya know? so she always held the other at arm's length -- waiting. what a horrible set-up for failure. for both.

then there is noodle.

this is not the post to delve into the black dark of the why.

recently, i dared to posit aloud that the owner is less angry in general, so perhaps less inclined to hurt me and engage my masochism. he agreed. he said he "doesn't carry it like he used to."

it made me so happy for him. truly. the mantle under which he struggled for years is coming undone. :) yet, it was a lingua verum of our own and something i treasured. how do i now explain that i *need* to be hurt when it's something he no longer feels compelled to do?

the other day (and night before) i got used hard. like most women would never want. the kind that makes you bleed and cry. the kind that makes you not want to sit down. the kind that makes you want to crawl inside the man who knows he can do that to you. the kind that makes you weep with pain and relief and joy on the way home.

i remained woozy and stoopid for a nice while.

allowing/wanting myself to be hurt opens me to a vulnerability i don't know how to get to elsewise. the welts, the weals, the tear-stains, the submitting to the power of *you* brings me to a place i feel should be for you.

will you allow me that?

let's hear it for the ladies

cindy mccain and laura bush were pushed forth to make speeches tonight at the republican convention in st. louis. neither is an elected official, nor seeking public office, but i guess their men are off doing manly stuff and stopping biblical force weather. i wouldn't watch them on tv, for fear botox would squirt directly through my screen into my face.

on another note of "defensive, much?"...

a favorite and level-headed npr reporter was interviewing palin's spokeswoman today. here's the bit i heard:

npr: has gov. palin ever traveled outside the country?
flak: her son is leaving any day for iraq.
npr: yes, i know, but this is about the governor. has she ever been abroad?
flak: since when has being a governor not been sufficient qualification for being vice president? we are done here.

um, ok.

NOW! i find out her unmarried teenaged daughter is knocked up. brilliant.

:)

rainin' on the rnc parade


maybe there is a god?

hurricane gustav has been bearing down on the gulf coast for several days. this time authorities seem to have their act somewhat together and evacuations, preparations and curfews fell into effect several days ago. katrina remains a raw memory (not hard to forget if you're still living in a fema trailer, i bet), so 2 million people hotfooted hopefully to safer land north and west. mayor nagin of new orleans told residents they "need to be scared". a few hold-outs remain, holed up with tobacco, canned beans, guns and ammo, but his words seemed to have the desired effect. as i type, the storm keeps moving but a big question mark remains about what mother nature has in mind.

from today's ny times:

"we are hoping and praying gustav runs out of steam,” said lt. gen. robert l. van antwerp, the commanding general for the corps of engineers, as lightning flashed in the clouds over lake pontchartrain behind him.

maybe he should have been *praying* harder over the past 3 years to get the damn levees and t-walls built faster?

i digress.

mccain and his cons now must scale way back on the hate fest. opening night in st. louis is basically canceled. balloons and bunting are unseemly when you've got millions on the move to save their lives, eh? the next few days will force minute-to-minute decisions, having no disaster emergency precedent by which to choose the *right thing to do.* a sunshiney spot in the storm is that bush and cheney will NOT attend the convention, making it impossible for any pix to be taken together of the nominee and the least favored president in us history. visual, if not idealogical, distance thanks to a mighty wind.

riddle me this, kind readers: wtf were mccain and palin doing down there? he is a senator from arizona. not what i'd call hurricane central. she is, well, i wrote that all yesterday. gidget goes to the gulf, ya know? (did she bring a jet-ski, hoping for rad waves?) there is NOTHING they can do to help or assist authorities who are presumably busting ass to keep everybody's shit together. even shrub has the sense to stay away. shouldn't they stop sucking valuable resources? landing planes, motorcades, security -- all that could have been avoided by conference calls and e-mail. OH, WAIT! then there would be no pix or video of mccain and palin looking concerned in the rain. AND, OH! mccain cannot use the internet.

gustav is the lead story on cable and the net, making the republican convention an also-ran.

maybe this will turn out to be a breath of fresh air after all.