rolling, rolling, rolling

part of what he gets paid for is to assure me he'll succeed, right? if he expressed doubt or uncertainty, i'd never have signed up, right? i know his record is excellent. high and low-profile wins one after the other; plenty of ink spilled in his favor, and lots of little guys getting their money back from big baddies. he hasn't promised a pot of gold or any rainbows, just that he can and will help, and has previously proven himself an excellent negotiator. the irony of not having hired a lawyer last year for all this is not lost on me. the other side's haste and greed caused them to skip some very important steps. later on, yet another of their lawyers fumbled and flummoxed further paperwork.

it's an extraordinary relief to have it in the hands of a professional, because i felt like i was wandering through a kafka novel trying to resolve it alone. hours on hold for a different time zone, only to be disconnected or told it wasn't the right department, and THEN disconnected, never redirected. over and over told nothing could be done. this guy fell in my lap and put the brakes on everything within a day. the words "i'm attorney so-and-so" are like a hammer, eh?

i have to keep telling myself i'm paying him to win. cold hard truth, it's in his best interest to succeed on my behalf. still, i wish it was easier to ride on his coattails of confidence. instead, i feel as though i'm white-water log-rolling on the river styx. my balance has never been all that good, but i know the tide has to turn. i need for all this to finish, so i can start again. for real.