rant

our galloping mormon (oops, lol, at 1st i typed "moron") has reinstituted random bag searches on the mbta. a "suspicious" person will be pulled aside and his/her backpack/briefcase/overnighter swabbed for explosives residue. unlike nyc, where cops actually peek inside the bags, this will be a chemical test. u.s. currency samples anywhere from 30% to 75% positive for cocaine. atms and bank bill-counting machines come up totally high as well. if i sleep near a fertilized field in yamhill, will my tote tip the boston bomb meter?

the nyc policy has been upheld in higher courts. the local one was originated during the 2000 dnc and also judged legal. (i want-want-want to believe it was the same judge who deemed it best to literally cage protestors outside the fleet center, but i know that's my tinfoil hat talking.) however, this does explain my recent sightings of black-jumpsuits, jackboots and german shepherds. (exhale...) funny, huh? how they were actually looking and sniffing before an official announcement?

the egregiously blatant political posturing comes as no surprise. the man has visited iowa many times more than any other potential republican candidate. "look at me!! tough on terrorism!!!... no candy-assed-massa-commie here!" pre-caucus tv ads, anybody? unbeknownst in the land of all-that-corn, he's a carpet-bagger and most likely unfamiliar with our local history regarding the troubles caused by writs of assistance. our profiteering forefathers had a very definite problem with illegal search and seizure. as *reassurance*, t officials offered that trains would be held so that the searchee doesn't miss his connection. what about all the rest of us being herded while he gets needlessly hassled? if a guy with a bomb sees ray-bans on a 6-footer leashing an 80-pound dog, is he really gonna buy a charlie pass?

our maundering man in the white house last week smiled and squinted for the cameras, then signed a new home-land security manifesto. in a much quieter signing statement a few days later, he challenged, and basically pledged to ignore, 36 of the laws within it. during his term, he has *challenged* about 800 other "laws". ALL OTHER PRESIDENTS COMBINED HAVE CHALLENGED A TOTAL OF 600. since 1789, 42 other men have been commander-in-chief. that averages to 14.29 per president, or 2.8 per year. he has publicly stated that god told him to run for president, so really, should it surprise me that he does not feel bound by earthly laws? the historically valid procedure is to veto that with which the president disagrees, and chuck it back to congress. this provides a smooth loop in our constitutionally secure system of checks and balances. but if shrub is lulled to sleep by thoughts of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse galloping across the incinerating globe, why should a little frayed shred like the constitution be a mote in his eye?

lastly... foley and hastert.

foley is a notoriously closeted homosexual, who repressed himself for professional gain. his superior, hastert, came to power on an odd reverse. hapless and grossly fat, he proferred no danger when out went the newt, and the blue dress was being bagged. snow has called them "naughty e-mails", but i can only imagine them as every parent's internet nightmare writ large: an unacceptably older man, i-ming "r u horny?" while junior should be finishing his trig homework. yuk. in the daylight, he thumped his chest about electronic predators, then at night poured a drink and logged on to troll. but now he's cloistered behind the walls of rehab and tossing up alcohol abuse and prior priest abuse as excuse. how much does this cheapen those truly damaged by addiction or rape? what disservice done to 99% of the homosexuals who live normal functioning lives like everybody else?

ephobophilia is not to be confused with pedophilia. nor is either to be confused with homosexuality. yes, sometimes they tragically overlap. and yes, quite frankly, i'm ok without the image of 54 year old foley in his shorts i-ming pages late into the night. but i can't be the only one seeing the turn-a-blind-eye-parallel between the republicans and the catholic church. sick men were moved around like chess pieces, code of silence was honored. everybody else throws their hands up in the air to show they're clean. in the mean time, true conservatives (my mother swears she doesn't know a single gay person) then see sexual preference as pathology. suddenly, they're all in wrinkly trenchcoats outside the playground fence. simply put, if the lid is on too tight for too long everything boiling inside is gonna blow.

the eisenhower strike group and its load of tomahawk missiles has set sail for the persian gulf. significant numbers of other naval forces have received "prepare to deploy orders". anybody betting on a rove november surprise?

rant over. for now.