foxy hate

jbohn2: f***in mexicans bet la raza is dancing around a hat over this one

Hugh_FL: Burrito anyone? What's that noise?

these are screen grabs from twitter feeds to fox news today, when it asked for viewer comments relating to obama's nomination of sonia sotomayer for the supreme court today. a woman from new york, whose parents came from puerto rico, not fucking mexico.

the possibility exists that some people were messing around and having one on, to see if they could get their stoopid racist comments on tv. whether they are pranking, or for realz, their stoopid racist comments were on tv. on the network more american people watch for news than any other.

what twisty sickening validation.

yeah, people make me sick today too.

behind closed doors

a report released in ireland this week details abuses in orphanages, reformatories and industrial schools run by the catholic church from the 1930's to the 1990's when the last of them were shuttered. the study took 9 years to complete, with much of that time spent being stymied by a lawsuit from the christian brothers, who ran most of the places. the lawsuit ultimately succeeded in its aim in keeping the names of the abusers unavailable. while i assume many of the guilty nuns and priests are dead, now nobody will be accountable, punished or shamed.

during the 60 years, over 30,000 children were sent to these homes. many were orphaned and starving. many came from abusive, alcoholic or neglectful homes. some had been borne out of wedlock. most were remanded against their parents' wishes by a powerful priest. it took decades for them to learn their true names and that their parents had tried to get them back but failed.

directly from the report, for the boys:

"Punching, flogging, assault and bodily attacks, hitting with the hand, kicking, ear pulling, hair pulling, head shaving, beating on the soles of the feet, burning, scalding, stabbing, severe beatings with or without clothes, being made to kneel and stand in fixed positions for lengthy periods, made to sleep outside overnight, being forced into cold or excessively hot baths and showers, hosed down with cold water before being beaten, beaten while hanging from hooks on the wall, being set upon by dogs, being restrained in order to be beaten, physical assaults by more than one person, and having objects thrown at them.”

also directly pasted, for the girls:

"Girls were routinely sexually abused, often by more than one person at a time, the report said, in “dormitories, schools, motor vehicles, bathrooms, staff bedrooms, churches, sacristies, fields, parlors, the residences of clergy, holiday locations and while with godparents and employers.”

the report details the passive collusion of the government, with the ireland ministry of schools conducting toothless inspections and declaring the dickensian conditions "just fine", year after year after year, with no outcry or repercussions.

here in the u.s. our scandals saw the light of day much sooner than those of our neighbor across the pond. clergy sodomy jokes became a regular gag on late night tv, so perhaps we are more jaded in thinking that "of course priests are kid-fuckers."

however, it has been a century since the catholic church held much power over u.s. irish catholics. the symbiotic nature of church and state in a place like ireland is difficult for many here to grasp. until the irish tiger set the economy on a fever pace, the power of the local parish was felt by families everyday, in all things.

try to imagine being a hungry little kid taken forcibly from your mom. try to imagine being at the mercy of nuns and priests who are being paid nothing, and given a pittance with which to run their school. their mercy and empathy shrivel and harden into resentment and disgust as they see countless huddled masses of stinking shoeless rags brought to the home for gruel and a pallet, month after month. try to imagine being that kid with nowhere to turn. try to imagine being that kid and instead of learning to read, being forced to string rosary beads 7 days a week, or do laundry by hand in giant boiling vats or make soap. try to imagine being that kid and having the only grown-ups in your life violate you in ways so degrading and so inhuman it kills you inside. try to imagine these fierce depraved men and women are servants of *god*. try to imagine being surrounded by other sad little kids suffering in the same ways.

midway through the investigation, in 2002, the catholic church in ireland agreed to pay $175 million to compensate victims of clergy sexual abuse. a separate group has paid out some $1.5 billion so far to more than 10,000 people who have claimed they were abused in state and church-run institutions.

the vatican has not issued a statement.

how much is childhood worth? what price innocence?

re-read the treatment quoted above suffered by the boys. sound familiar? these were the pictures at abu ghraib that so shocked the world. those violated were adults, wrongly or rightly apprehended in the name of war.

who was running the prison and who was running the catholic children's homes? low-level flunkies, who had nobody watching them.

people make me sick. and very very sad.

"power tends to corrupt. absolute power corrupts absolutely."

my 2 dads

99.9 %. i don't even think ivory soap is up that high, but this woman fell into that .1% nightmare.

at 11 months, her twins just didn't look alike. in my head, i'd think hey, whatever, fraternal twinsies, all that. yet for whatever reason this woman went for a dna test and got the surprise of her life.

Paternity tests then revealed what had happened - two eggs had been fertilized by two different sperm and there was a 99.99% chance the twins had different dads.

Doctors at the DNA lab in Dallas, Texas had never seen such a result. it has happened before, and it's been recorded, and there is a medical term: heteropaternal superfecundation.

the mother, mia washington said, "out of all people in america and of all people in the world, it had to happen to me, she told myfoxdfw.com. “i'm very shocked."

which translates to, "of all the sistahs who banged 2 different guys on the same day, ain't i gots the dumbest luck. now i guess i gots to go all up to county and tell jerome AND tyrone."

and ok, once again, did she want to be on the news for this? yo, yeah, i'm a ho.

republiclowns

with that whole "picture is worth a 1000 words" thing, i was tempted just to post this pic of michele bachmann to share, and let you all find your own layers. however, the story that ran alongside it, plus some other hilarity is too good to take a pass.

next week the republican national committee will hold an "extraordinary special session" (kinda like the x-games without the red bull for old white guys, i guess, or maybe they're trying to get in that "league of gentlemen") in which they will adopt a resolution renaming the democrats "the democrat socialist party". roger simon, writer for the blog "politico", asked this repub if that would force rnc chief michael steele to always call the dems that in speeches and such. when he's presumably in the hizzle. the guy's answer? "who cares?" way to stay in the game, dudes!

a congressman from georgia has offered up a bill to request that president obama declare 2010 "national year of the bible". a long windy breath of pompous heavenly air, his resolution includes this nugget:

"Whereas shared Biblical beliefs unified the colonists and gave our early leaders the wisdom to write the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States, both of which recognized the inherent worth, dignity, and inalienable rights of each individual, thus unifying a diverse people with the right to vote, and the freedoms of speech and vast religious freedoms..."

we'll take a safe bet that he and his co-sponsors (as well as any ignorant interns with keyboards and google) are unaware that many of the founding fathers considered themselves deists and agnostics. they were not thumping the bible at the constitutional convention. that little item about separating church and state, initiated by roger williams which helped get him, and a bunch of other dissenters, run out of town? the dark flip side of the salem witch trials -- with a minister as magistrate and most of the accused land-owning widows with property coveted by the towns? yeah. that.

ok, then, new faces!! while karl rove and dick cheney continue to slither onto talking head shows, trying to spin their legacy of evil and tyranny into "patriotism!" and "we kept you safe against terror! but you're doomed to a fiery apocalypse now, all-jihad in da house!!!", the gop is desperately flailing for a new face. so let's see who's out there... bobby jindal? first indian-american elected to a big office. harvard. rhodes scholar. if you saw even seconds of his rebuttal to obama's speech, he sounded like an idiot. with his state facing a $1.7 billion deficit, he wants to refuse the $4+ billion stimulus money portioned out to louisiana, because of "unspecified strings".

moving on. governor rick perry of texas wants to secede from the union because obama is a pinko-non-amurrican-socialist. also facing record deficits, he refused $550 million in surplus dough for his state's unemployment fund. at an april teabag rally ( can't resist, sorry), he said, "they're overturning the rights we had one by one, making choices that would leave our founding fathers scratching their heads." was he asleep for that whole patriot act thing?

charlie crist from florida. he of the dina lohan orange tan and a well-documented, closeted gay sex life. a moderate, married to a beard. it's only a matter of time before this blows up in a wide stance on gritty videotape in a public restroom or park.

mitt romney. handsome, telegenic and articulate, so he's got all that over the others. mormon. earth is 6000 years old. evolution = no way. he was a successful businessman, so i can't ever decide if he really believes that crap, or simply doesn't want to risk a split with his church. either way, his platforms are same old-same old.

what about the ladies? meghan mccain? john's 24-year old daughter, who has never held a job, never mind an elected office, twitters incessantly and sounds like an idiot whenever given a platform for public speaking. ( i have gay friends! srrrriously!) then again even with that whole verbal disability issue, palin was on the vp ticket.

speaking of, sarah palin and her passel of wasilla-billies just will not go away or shut up. her daughter, bristol, is now some kind of abstinence ambassador for a foundation sponsored by candies' shoes (!!! yes, really. just cuz you wear cheap slutty shoes, doesn't mean you should actually be cheap or slutty? or something.) the ny times interviewed some middle school girls where she made a speech, all of whom said she was basically full of shit and just saying what her mom told her say.

the above clown lady-- michele bachmann, the gay-hating, socialist-hunting, baby farmer from minnesota. awesomeness. she's scaring even the republicans. recently as a show of how open-minded or legit or who-knows-really-wtf, she's been pal-ing around with ron paul. yes. she's been reading "meltdown", which basically calls the new deal a failure and blames the federal reserve for the mess in which we are now mired. she's been attending weekly luncheons and this is a quote from somebody on paul's team:

"I had a feeling she'd have some interest in the book," said Woods, "because she asked some good questions. She was taking notes. She was asking if this or that point could be found in the book. I thought I recognized a sincere person who wanted knowledge, not the usual politician who couldn't care less about what the truth is and just wanted to propagandize."

she brought a pen! and paper! but if she was asking whether or not certain points could be found in the book, does that mean she didn't actually read it, or just didn't understand it? i'm guessing the latter, especially with the way she was trying to poke geitner about whether actions by the fed "could be found in the constitution"? which i'm guessing she's never read either.

polls on social issues show a big generational gap between voters closer in age to republican congressman (median 57) and those under 30. abortion and gay marriage are basically non-issues for the younger set. their attitude of "it's private, it doesn't affect me, why not?" is worlds away from the ultra-cons who seem to hog most of the air-time.

are the dems our saviors? of course not. i'm NOT an idiot, lol. but as long as illiterate wing nuts like palin get book contracts and tv appearances the repubs aren't offering any sort of viable option, are they? it would be interesting in my lifetime to see the demise of a political party and the rise of new other, at the very least.

stay tuned.

scaping the goats

a hooker got killed. please let's not pretend she was giving legit massages, because you don't offer that in the "erotic services" section of craigslist. you just don't.

hookers get killed. people get killed. but this particular hooker happened to be pretty and didn't look like some cracked-out ho. the med student who probably killed her was dumb as shit, leaving a trail a mile wide and bright red for the cops to easily track him down.

but somehow the story gets spun and everybody goes beserk at the founder of craiglist for allowing this sort of smutty networking to happen. for free. the same stuff that's been happening since the dawn of time. it simply moved from the back pages of the boston phoenix to on-line. just like selling your old waterbed or finding a room-mate. we all know nobody reads newspapers anymore, not even free ones like the phoenix.

unlike trying to score in a bar, or approaching a street-walker, a cl hook-up was a pretty sure thing. i have gay friends who do it on a regular basis, for the no-muss-no-fuss convenience. i've seen the ads with $$$$$ in the headers, so the pros were hiding in plain sight. every so often cops do a "sting" and net a few, which always struck me as shooting fish in a barrel. and really, aren't there meth labs or gang members that needed shaking up way more than a chick who saw no other income options? i mean, how desperate and cornered are these women?

facing likely frivolous, but assuredly annoying, lawsuits and media harassment craig newmark announced a change in cl policy today. the "erotic services" section will be phased out in a week. attorney generals in a few places crowed about this part! woo-hoo, we beat the dirty smut peddler! the truth is this: the name will be changed to "adult services". moderators will now oversee this section. it will no longer be free. so before, when hookers and johns went trolling, that was the only time money changed hands. but now? craigslist will be profiting from them! well done, media hysterics!

it's sad what happened to that girl. wrong place, wrong time. yet nobody is willing to call it just that. heads must roll and the print media hates craiglist for hijacking all that ad revenue. nobody tagged that med student the "hotel killer", did they?

sex-robatics

i'll put myself out on a limb, and guess that most folks don't think of sex in terms of getting hurt. that it's only enhanced by bruises, cuts, residual soreness and deranged girly bits.

while plenty of guys recoiled at my requests for a lil slap and tickle, i've been fortunate to meet a few like-minded souls. even better that the owner is one of them. he's deliberately inflicted some serious worlds of hurt. i have also been on the receiving end of unforeseen consequences that would terrify most and took months to completely heal. part of the playing field, as they say.

this one though? lol. he was only leaning on me. i felt and heard a snap. it was excruciating. like, dizzy for a few minutes, searing hot kinda pain. not broken, but not where that rib belongs at all.

a week later, it still hurts just to breathe.

who is luckier than me? i mean, i have lots and lots of ribs...

more animal follies

there is a zoo in kabul, afghanistan. we shall for now put aside the ethics of keeping animals in zoos, but i think we can all agree running a zoo is an expensive proposition. am i the only one thinking that comes the end of the week, there isn't always enough monkey chow to go around? maybe part of the entertainment enjoyed by the 10,000 visitors on a weekend is the animals eating each other.

in the kabul zoo, there is a pig. it is reportedly the only pig in the entire country and was a gift from china. (they couldn't pony up enough yuan to send two pigs? poor lonely piggy!) the pig is now in quarantine because some visitors expressed concern they might catch swine flu from it. the pig has never been to mexico. there are no direct flights from kabul to mexico. no one in afghanistan has swine flu, and i'll wager very few have ever been to mexico.

"For now the pig is under quarantine, we built it a room because of swine influenza," Aziz Gul Saqib, director of Kabul Zoo, told Reuters. "We've done this because people are worried about getting the flu."

so yes, people everywhere are stupid, but maybe his special pig room is nicer than where he was kept before with a bunch of scaredy muslims staring at him all day.

but wait...

so i clicked on the link because of the pig, but the ending of the story is what made my day:

Shabby and rundown, Kabul Zoo is a far cry from zoos in the developed world, but has nevertheless come a long way since it suffered on the front line of Afghanistan's 1992-4 civil war.

Mujahideen fighters then ate the deer and rabbits and shot dead the zoo's sole elephant. Shells shattered the aquarium.

One fighter climbed into the lion enclosure but was immediately killed by Marjan, the zoo's most famous inhabitant. The man's brother returned the next day and lobbed a hand grenade at the lion leaving him toothless and blind.

that's showin' him!

$5

five dollah.

hollah.

what can you get for five bucks? a beer at a bar. ( a decent 6-pack is around $7 or $8 now, i'm thinking) half a glass of wine or 30-40% of a martini. half a pizza. a family pack of chicken thighs. 2.5 rides on the mbta.

i'm sure at one point when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, it was my weekly allowance as a kid and i could buy some candy and maybe a few 45's with that. however in the nowy-times, it doesn't go all that far. although, last week at haymarket i only spent $5.50. granted i was still decently stocked from the week before, so didn't need much.

so why am i so pissed that the $5 yoga pants i have worn approximately 25 times in 5 weeks ripped?

money and me. i know -- completely irrational.

as they lay dying

from the washington post (yes, really, the washington post, not "the onion"):

"Corcoran College of Art and Design senior Lindsay Perkins said facing graduation from the Washington school has prompted her to focus more on her academics amid concerns an art degree will be worth little in a tightening nationwide economy.

"I feel like I have lost my motivation, because I don't know what to motivate myself to do next year," Perkins said."To some extent, I regret it. I don't know how to put it. I don't regret following my dreams, but maybe I regret the way I went about it. I didn't really set myself up for any place in society."

the article begins by saying, "at least one student..." was the reporter trying to pick this chick up in a bar? she was mooning over a pbr and he said, "why the long face?" and anyway, when was an art degree a segue into a real career? in the 50s or 60s? back when women couldn't get jobs in advertising anyway?

if i handed these anecdotal paragraphs into any of my journalism professors, i would have gotten an "f". hell, even a teaching assistant would have laughed in my face. where are the dreary jobless stats to reaffirm her angst? how much money have her parents tossed down the drain for their daughter's (now?) suddenly worthless degree ? has there been a trend of art majors switching degree programs? are art school apps down? transfers up? what, man?

or, haha, maybe they had white space from unsold ad spots and needed filler? "where's that crap bit from so-&-so about the arty chick? make it less than 100 words!"

in a separate but related note, the bleeding red ink ny times and its hemorrhaging daughter, the boston globe, remain in negotiations. however, at 11 p.m. sunday, after beating its head against the wall for weeks, the nyt handed the unions a copy of the federally-mandated notice it plans to file monday morning, stating that the paper will close in 60 days. in other words, "yes, we really fucking mean it. we will shut down this paper and you are all screwed. now pony up."

the globe is projected to lose $85 million this year. ad revenue in the 1st 3 months of 2009 are down 30% over last year. the nyt is seeking $20 million in cuts from the unions, half of which they want to slice from the boston newspaper guild. the major sticking point? lifetime job guarantees. yes. they actually still exist and 450 staff at the globe have them. are you fucking kidding me? i find this extra ironic (is that possible?) because massachusetts is a right-to-work state. employers can fire staff without stated cause. in fact, that's become a more popular option when the ax falls, because it's less likely to open the door for a wrongful termination suit.

i'm too lazy now to look for the link, but there was a story last week that a chicago paper had its reporters coming in (unpaid) on weekends to surf the net on sites like "tmz", "the smoking gun" and "perez hilton". they had to then get "wrap-up" stories ready for monday's edition. stories that were already in circulation, and were as many as 4 days old. the editor who brainstormed this drudgery apparently didn't seem to realize that the people he was looking to add into his paper's circulation numbers have already read these stories ON THE NET.

i just keep hearing this bit in my head:

DEAD PERSON:I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:I'm not!
CART MASTER:He isn't?
CUSTOMER:Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:Oh, don't be such a baby.

more grace from the ultra-right

in retaliation for arlen specter leaving the republican party, "americans for limited government" had this charming cartoon up on its website yesterday. for those of you who might care, and didn't know, that arlen specter is jewish.

more hate, please... oh! ok, sure!! the one below was pasted around san francisco during all the fun that was the alg tea parties on april 15th. the text reads, "only with your tax dollars can israelis continue to kill palestinian children."


specter was the only remaining republican senator who happened to be jewish. his parents were immigrants. his father ran a junkyard. he got himself to u of pennand went to yale law school. he was an attorney on the warren commission. he has been a senator for 30 years from a state where politics is way rough-and-tumble. i'd say that's living the american dream, huh? pretty much like our president?

he has never been lock-step, but voted with his party much more than against (70% in the 110th congress), and basically held the reagan philosophy of, "We should emphasize the things that unite us and make these the only ‘litmus test’ of what constitutes a Republican: our belief in restraining government spending, pro-growth policies, tax reduction, sound national defense, and maximum individual liberty. As to the other issues that draw on the deep springs of morality and emotion, let us decide that we can disagree among ourselves as Republicans and tolerate the disagreement.”

he saw the near future and knew toomey would come flinging mud. he knew over 200,000 republicans in his state switched registration in the last election. he knew the people his party needed the most to win seats -- women, married women and hispanics> -- voted overwhelmingly for obama they crashed hard in 2006 and went down in flames in 2008. the big tent under which he had served many years was no more. in a pew research center poll of 7000 americans this week, less than 28% of the respondents identified as republicans.

when george bush defeated john kerry in 2004, it was by 2.4% of the votes. he went on to call it a "mandate" from the american people and moved swiftly to ram his special version of 21st century tyranny down the open gullet of the lazy geese who watched american idol instead of rallying in the streets about the demolition of their civil liberties and the perversion of their constitution.

barak obama defeated john mccain by 7%. he hoped for bipartisan efforts to address the enormously painful issues he faced -- including the tarp fiasco he inherited. from george bush.

while the republicans grow increasingly insular, they work in a leadership vacuum. few are willing to listen to rove or cheney when they pop up darth-vader -like trying to spin their bloody filthy legacy into some semblance of rightness and patriotism.

instead, the loudest voice belongs to rush limbaugh. a fat sweaty former drug addict, divorced numerous times. just a quick google tap unearthed these rushy gems:

• iraq war veterans that favor a withdrawal from Iraq are "phony soldiers"
• that the torture and, in some cases, deaths of detainees at abughraib was akin to, or the result of, harmless "frat pranks"?
• that obama got the democratic nomination because "nobody had the guts to stand up and say no to a black guy"?
• that the democratic party are the "PR spokespeople for Al Qaeda"
• government's been taking care of [young blacks] their whole lives
• ahmadinejad's writings contain "some liberal hollywood jewish people talking points
• democrats celebrate privately this attack in spain - referring to the Madrid train bombings that killed 191 people.
• that "Halfrican Americans" is an appropriate term for biracial individuals of mixed caucasian and African American descent?
• and of course, that he hopes obama fails

i'm all for free speech and unfortunately that means ignorance gets air-time too.

yesterday, to explore america on obama's 100th day, the bbc went to oklahoma. they interviewed a woman who said, "you never used to even see black people. now they're everywhere and they are taking all the jobs."

they interviewed another woman who played in the tea parties. she is against obama's socialist tax agenda. she suggested instead he follow the irish model of low corporate taxation. (that trickle-down worked great for bush!) the reporter helpfully offered that ireland crashed harder than any other eu country most recently. she replied, "it worked for awhile!" yup. and just like the us, it was phony money and the country is flat broke.

i'm hopeful that those who want the most polarization are becoming a smaller and less powerful group. i'm dreading that the time between election cycles has grown so short. pigheads like gingrich are already tossing their sweaty hats into the ring. so the party of rich old white guys continues to totter on into their john wayne colored sunset. then again, if somebody like meghan mccain is seen as their fresh young blood, even the red cross can't pony up enough bags of plasma to give them new life.

this little piggy went to market

sen. arlen specter of pennsylvania switched parties today. he's now a demican, instead of a republicrat. he's tough on crime and national security, but is pro-choice. a member of the senate nearly 30 years, he did some very fancy maneuvering after being strong-armed by v.p. biden. his tenure in congress will be considered as all-democrat, making him one of the more senior senators with a likely reward of a plum chairmanship.

he will not change his voting patterns nor his stands. this was not a move to get to cloture. this was pragmatism, not idealism. 200,000 voters in his home-state switched parties last year. with no strong democrat set to run, specter was going to be challenged by pat toomey, former head of club for growth, the conservative anti-tax group. he narrowly defeated toomey last round, and the club had promised to gun for him hard this time around. the club has defeated several moderate republicans in the last several years, including lincoln chafee in rhode island, wayne gilchrest in maryland and heather wilson in new mexico. pennsylvania may be growing bluer, but its conservatives are getting redder by the day.

specter looked at his odds, and walked out of the tattered big tent. the one where only the shrillest and out-of-touch voices are heard. neo-cons like to tout how conservative american is. ya know what? it's not. it's a nation of moderates. they've learned nothing from the sarah palin debacle.

in a confession of hopeful rubbernecking, i almost can't wait to watch gingrich sweat and squirm under the hot lights in 2012.

michael steele, chairman of the gop, wasted no time and minced no words: mr. specter, he said, “didn’t leave the gop based on principles of any kind. he left to further his personal political interests because he knew that he was going to lose a republican primary due to his left-wing voting record. republicans look forward to beating senator specter in 2010, assuming the democrats don’t do it first.” and they're gracious too! not a single word of gratitude to an 80-year-old man who served his party nearly 30 years. here's your hat, there's the door. we will whip your old bony ass. that he could utter the word "principle" and not choke is kind of amazing too.

other pigs who poke

am just wondering how soon before some crackpot christian conservative wingnut comes out and blames the swine flu and earthquake in mexico city on the gays? i mean, there must be some in mexico, right? all those colorful hats and margaritas? and they must be punished, right?

iowa joining the chablis-swilling liberal elite in allowing man-on-man matrimony somehow, some way, tipped an axis in the universe.

the end is nigh, my friends.

pigs and panic

only a few days in and i am already sick of it.

yes, flu is bad. yes, it can kill you -- if you're very old or very young or your immune system isn't up to snuff, which certainly is the case for oldsters and babies. 30,000 americans die EVERY YEAR from whatever flu happens to be floating around. unfortunately, much like the black plague and the flu pandemic of 1918, it's early in the season and not nearly as warm as it will eventually get, so the virus buggers have plenty of time to incubate and spread. however, at this point, the "outbreak" is being reported on a case-by-case basis, so it's spreading at a myopic snail's pace and less than .00001% of the population has been affected.

but, please, everybody BE VERY AFRAID!! and if cnn tells everybody to be afraid, hopefully more people will watch cnn, because they must know RIGHT NOW where somebody else may or may not have swine flu. and then will see ads for stuff like purell and be more afraid and buy gallons of purell to wipe down the door handle of the emergency room where they must get tested RIGHT NOW for swine flu because they feel tired. bad news there, because the doc has to send your spit off-site, then wait a few days to find out that you have seasonal allergies. but don't go outside. if you must, stay 6 feet away from everybody. which must be damn hard in mexico city, one of the world's most populous cities. sunday everybody stayed home, nobody went to watch soccer and pizza delivery joints ran out of pies because everybody was too scared to go out to eat. (poor guy who had that day's shift -- wonder how he feels today? sniffles or anything?) but the ninos are happy because school is closed! yeah!! (i think yippee is still yippee in spanish.)

yes, you twittering idiot, you can still eat bacon. yes, the influenza virus can live for short periods of time outside its host. (that's a question for fucking google, you moron, not rick sanchez.)

at the white house press briefing yesterday, a reporter actually asked, "when did you know about this?" like it was some mad watergate conspiracy that must be deep-throated into daylight.

another asked if obama was safe, basically because he touched lots of dirty mexicans last week.

makers of paper masks must be thigh-slapping and high-fiving like crazy this week. i mean, really? paper masks? are they made of magic paper? all too often i have seen people (often asians -- omg!! wonder if they had bird flu!) wearing those masks around here. i just assumed that they were on the defense and afraid of catching something, not helping the greater good and avoiding spreading something.

texas governor rick "let's secede from this socialist nation before it's too late!" perry has requested 37,000-plus units of tamiflu from the cdc to be sprinkled around his great state, just in case. suddenly he and the 57% of lone star republicans who agreed with him about giving the feds the boot look oh-so-pretty in pink, don'tcha think?

last time we had a swine flu sky-is-falling craze, the government spent over $130 million to develop a vaccine. which promptly killed waaaaaay more people than the flu. then the flu went away after about 6 months. like every other flu after the 1918 nightmare.

things i learned from my amazing google-fu today:

the 1918 crisis, which was REALLY bad, is often called the spanish flu, but actually originated here, in the u.s. soldiers from the rural south had it and brought it to europe with them. all influenza "a" viruses since then are genetic descendants from the one that caused that outbreak. so every time a 90-year-old lady dies from the flu, a wwI vet gets his wings.

and--

donald rumsfeld is a major stockholder in the company that owns tamiflu.

thing i remembered from a long time ago: when we took a school field trip to turtleback zoo i adamantly refused to be involved in the petting zoo. even then i knew not to touch pigs. yuk.

question: if a muslim or observant jew contracts swine flu, will he or she become an atheist?

here is a direct paste from the cdc website on how to avoid infection:

• Wash your hands regularly with soap and water, especially after coughing or sneezing.
• Or use an alcohol-based hand cleaner.
• Avoid close contact with sick people.
• Avoid touching your mouth, nose, or eyes.
  

rocket science, eh?

how many people died from sars? or avian flu? until the bodies are stacked up like lincoln logs and zombies are roaming the streets in search of kleenex, i don't care.

lawyers and the lawyers who lie to them

Eliminating the Bush system will mean that we will get no more information from captured alQaeda terrorists. Every prisoner will have the right to a lawyer (which they will surely demand), the right to remain silent, and the right to a speedy trial.

this was written by john yoo in the wall st. journal after obama forbid the use of torture against prisoners. along with bybee, yoo wrote many of the d.o.j. memos justifying its use for the bush administration.

from 2001 to 2003, he was working directly with, and under the hands of, the two most important legal officials in the administration: bush's counsel alberto " i don't recall" gonzales, and cheney's counsel david addington. together, they deliberately created and authorized a regime of torture and other brutal interrogation methods that are, as defined by the geneva and hague conventions and the red cross (to name but a few), very serious war crimes. these were government officials who set out to enable a brutal and systematic torture regime, and did so.

yoo helped lay the groundwork with his extraordinary memo that included this:

"If a government defendant were to harm an enemy combatant during an interrogation in a manner that might arguably violate a criminal prohibition, he would be doing so in order to prevent further attacks on the United States by the al Qaeda terrorist network. In that case, we believe that he could argue that the executive branch's constitutional authority to protect the nation from attack justified his actions."

basically, that the president's war powers entitle him to ignore multiple laws which criminalized the use of torture. this perception of the president's potential unlimited scope was right up cheney's alley and the henchmen got to work.

gonzales and yoo worked for the justice department. the justice department does not make the law, nor is it above the law. its job is to enforce the law. the current cia director is asking for amnesty for any of his officers that were involved in the torture. yo!! they just got the notes from the doj! following orders, yo!

the timing of yoo's memos make it quite clear that the white house was booking paper to defend itself when the shit someday hit the fan. hey! they said it was ok!! that mexican guy and that korean guy!! yoo's paper hit the ground right before the most egregious offenses began at abu ghraib.

lawyers lie all the time. lawyers break the law. lawyers wind up in jail. lawyers have defended despicable cases throughout all of time -- slavery and jim crow anybody? a client finds the guy who will suit his agenda. ya think john gotti's lawyer thought he was innocent? mr. cheney? meet mr. yoo and his special brand of krazee.

when all this was being rammed through, no one, not even george tenet, did any research on the genesis of SERE -- survival, evasion, resistance and escape -- which had been created decades earlier to give american pilots and soldiers a sample of the torture methods used by communists in the korean war. these included days of shackling, walling, forced nudity and waterboarding. ahem. a 1956 study found that, "the communists do not look upon these assaults as ‘torture, but all of them produce great discomfort, and lead to serious disturbances of many bodily processes; there is no reason to differentiate them from any other form of torture.” worse, the study found that under such abusive treatment, a prisoner became “malleable and suggestible, and in some instances he may confabulate.”

they did not know that some veteran trainers from the SERE program itself had warned in internal memorandums that, morality aside, the methods were ineffective. that the communists had gotten many more false confessions inspired by extreme duress than actual facts. nor were most of the officials aware that the former military psychologist who played a central role in persuading cia officials to use the harsh methods had never conducted a real interrogation, only practiced on us army guinea pigs.

yet the policy was adopted at warp speed. we tortured countless numbers of men and women. and children.

mr yoo is now a professor of law at berkeley who writes books and blabs on "meet the press". many of his opinions were so off the wall that even the bush admin eventually repudiated them. he held one of the most despicable and perverted perceptions of the constitution i have ever read.

one of our founding father's more brilliant bits of paperwork was its concept of the checks and balances system instilled with 3 separate branches of government. the free press is loosely considered the 4th branch. congress knuckled under to bush in nearly every one of his tyrannical efforts post 9-11. the doj became a puppet. the media was content in being spoonfed lies and half-truths. failure to lockstep would have turned off even the trickle in their info spigot.

the seal for the dept. of justice says: Qui Pro Domina Justitia Sequitur, which roughly translates to "who prosecutes on behalf of lady justice". i can only think she hides her face in shame these days.

head-spinning hypocrisy

in a further bid for transparency, president obama ordered the release of some justice dept. memos this past week pertaining to "enhanced interrogation" tactics -- torture -- used on detainees in abu ghraib, gitmo, cia black holes and other prisons. his entirely reasonable reason being that all the tactics within were already known. the case involving that scamp in camo lynndie england and her pals was 5 years ago already.

predictably, karl rove and dick cheney decried the release of the papers. "now the tactics are ruined!" "now the enemy will know what we do and how far we'll go!" (like a crying brat from whom somebody took his toys?) yup. ok, mohammed, when they capture you, just hold out cuz after 183 dunks they'll stop waterboarding you. piece of baklava, my friend.

these assertions were quickly followed by well, if our soldiers are captured, the crazed blood-thirsty insurgents would torture them. excellent -- governing by the "i know you are, but what am i?" method. (didn't their mom ever ask them about peer pressure: "if all your friends jumped off a bridge thingie?)

a former u.s. army psychiatrist, maj. charles burney, told army investigators in 2006 that interrogators at the guantanamo bay detention facility were under "pressure" to produce evidence of ties between al Qaida and Iraq.

"while we were there a large part of the time we were focused on trying to establish a link between al qaida and iraq and we were not successful in establishing a link between al qaida and iraq," burney told staff of the army inspector general. "the more frustrated people got in not being able to establish that link . . . there was more and more pressure to resort to measures that might produce more immediate results."

anybody remember the "leaked" downing st. memo in which tony blair flatly stated that facts were being molded to push for the iraq invasion even though the evidence of a link did not exist? there was no proof of wmd's either, regardless of cheney's bold lies on tv a few days later.

the fbi, the government agency with the greatest knowledge of al qaeda in 2001, chose not to participate in the cia interrogation program after agents became uneasy about the earliest use of harsh methods in 2002 on abu zubaydah, a long-sought terrorist facilitator -- who was diagnosed as schizophrenic and turned out to be little more than a greeter, regardless of the lies george bush told on tv about zubaydah being a mucky-muck. after being tortured, zubaydah offered no more info than he'd already given.

alberto mora, a former general counsel for the navy,has said that some flag-rank officers believe that abu ghraib and guantánamo constitute “the first and second identifiable causes of us combat deaths in iraq,” because they galvanized jihadis. just this weekend over 159 shi'ites were blown up by suicide bombers in iraq.

in an interview with vanity fair last year, the fbi director since 2001, robert s. mueller III, was asked whether any attacks had been disrupted because of intelligence obtained through the coercive methods. “i don’t believe that has been the case.”

that assessment stands in sharp contrast to many assertions by bush and cheney, who on fox news said of the methods: “they did work. they kept us safe for seven years.” while scores were killed by jihadis in europe, no real plots have been foiled in the u.s. since 9/11. zero. absence of evidence and all that... just like the god-mongerers.

no soldier above the rank of sergeant was prosecuted in the abu ghraib scandal.

the men in the attorney general's office who authored some of these memos, and outlined the newly permissible torture are graduates of places like harvard and yale. they worked in prestigious white shoe law firms. one justice, jay bybee, a cubmaster for a local boy scout troop, wrote one of the memos regarding tecnhiques specifically for abu zubaydah. he advised 10 escalating steps, including face slapping, bug-in-a-box and waterboarding, which, he wrote, "does not, in our view, inflict ‘severe pain or suffering.’ ” he now has life tenure on the 9^th us circuit court of appeals in san francisco.

idi amin -- bad.
saddam hussein -- bad.
pol pot -- bad.
general pinochet -- bad.
mao zedung -- bad.
hitler -- bad.
spanish inquisition -- bad. (really? nobody expected them?)

george bush was the first and only western leader to defy the geneva convention and "redefine torture". even by medieval standards, what our operatives did by express permission of the justice department was torture. men including bush, cheney and rumsfield ignored pleas from every armed service branch to not move forward in this fashion. they blithely lied to the press and to congress about evidence that did not exist to facilitate the agenda they held upon bush's election. it needed only one bad muslim to get the wheels moving. how do these men look at themselves in the mirror everyday and not slit their own throats instead of shaving?

i can't stand it.

god is very busy

one of my biggest pet peeves (i know, i know -- so many, so little time) is the insistence of a certain type of christian that god is micro-managing their lives. he told both george bush and sarah palin to run for office; invade iraq and carry a down's syndrome baby to term. he has been directly responsible for countless afc, nfl and nba championships.

godless whore that i am, even if i DID believe, i'm logical enough to think the guy would be too busy to watch football. even if he does still kick back on sundays. (he has all that extra time saved cuz he doesn't have to go to church!) having the hubris to believe he's minutely concerned with *your* daily life is shocking to me. if i DID believe, i'd think of it as disrespectful. he should be a big picture guy and we should be managing on our own, tyvm, not asking god if i should wear black or brown pumps to the interview for cryin' out loud. back in the day, if you ran around saying god was in your ear, you likely wound up either in bedlam or sizzlin' and smokin' at the stake.

the latest god-jawing nincompoop is the miss california who lost the miss usa crown this past weekend. carrie prejean was asked by belligerently gay parasitic celebutard perez hilton if she believed in gay marriage. she answered:

"We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

"i think that i believe."

i assume there is a certain amount of verbal 2-stepping pageant girls learn to do around these sorts of hot button topics, much like politicians, but with boob jobs and veneers. i've seen clips and sorry, but it seems like hilton ambushed the girl. (punk'd mebbe?) she calmly stated her opinion. that's it. she didn't wish fire and brimstone or herpes of the ass to befall all the homosexuals. in the fall-out, hilton acted like a pissy high school girl, referring to prejean as a "dumb bitch" and a "cunt". woot! well done. way to elevate the discourse.

why anyone really cares what this girl thinks is beyond me, and it's not like she's the only person in the world to have that opinion, but even larry king has been in on it. ok, but here's what makes my agnostic teeth itch:

"Out of all the topics I studied up on, I dreaded that one, I prayed I would not be asked about gay marriage."

sooooo, god refuted your prayer and refused to help you win the crown. or wasn't listening, or was busy helping the red sox, or something.

oh, what? wait? no?...

"By having to answer that question in front of a national audience, God was testing my character and faith. I'm glad I stayed true to myself."

phew. he WAS watching the pageant. and so all good girlz go to heaven, according to the first responder on carrie's homepage:

"thank you for standing for what you believe in Carrie...God sees what you have done and He will honor you for that! Your "crown" will be in heaven one day...and that is really the only one that truly matters!"

carry on, friends. i have to talk to god about what's for lunch.

i see dead people

last night, the opening minutes of one of my shows was pre-empted by a boston police press conference. woo-hoo!! they believe they have caught the craig's list killer. sparkly high-tech (blackberry ping trail 1000 miles long from this kid), old-school shoe leather, many units cooperating, 24-7 investigating, blah, blah, blah. he was on numerous security cams and they had a couple other women whom he'd likely robbed cooperating. he was on a mini-roll with several victims in under a week.

epitome of "last guy you'd ever think". med student, engaged to equally waspy chick, registered at pottery barn and williams-sonoma. his facebook page is banal to the point of laughable. his fiancee e-mailed "good morning america" saying it's all a mistake, he wouldn't hurt a fly and they will share a meaningful life together after their marriage in august.

it's entirely possible cops do NOT have the right guy. our boston police have a dismal close rate on murder -- one of the country's worst, last year it was 44%, vs. the national average of 55% for cities of similar sizes. cities like milwaukee and seattle are over 70%. put another way, 6 out of 10 local killers are walking free. this year has been a very quiet one so far with only 8 murders, mostly due to carefully orchestrated gang ceasefires, moderated by neighborhood clergy.

the cynic in me says the murdered girl was white, with the seamy craig's list details adding a bit of juice to generate page views so the press has stayed on it. "but she was turning her life around! really!" dunno. an ad in the "erotic encounters" section of cl, doesn't really sound like best foot forward for a troubled girl. i'm not diminishing the pain of her death for her friends and family. she was somebody's daughter, simply engaged in risky behavior that went tragically wrong.

how many 1000s or 10s of 1000s of people place or answer on-line ads everyday, get laid and go safely home to dinner, ya know?

hot on the heels of the craig's list killer, worcester police set up a sting this weekend. 50 people were arrested and will be arraigned today for answering escort/massage ads. men and women, willing to engage in an anonymous encounter for cash. quelle surprise!! tax dollars hard at work, folks. so glad all those local meth labs are closed down, and the cops had nothing more meaningful to do on patriots' weekend.

last 4th of july, a homeless man named timothy finch was beaten to death in broad daylight, one block from faneuil hall. one of our city's busiest days, at tourist ground zero. 100s of witnesses saw both the fight and him dying. it was days before the story ran in the globe. no arrests. think any of boston's finest are still dogging that case?

please shut her up

So tonight, I am proud to join you in challenging the mold and the notions of what being a Republican means. I am concerned about the environment. I love to wear black. I think government is best when it stays out of people's lives and business as much as possible. I love punk rock. I believe in a strong national defense. I have a tattoo. I believe government should always be efficient and accountable. I have lots of gay friends. And yes, I am a Republican.

~~john mccain's daughter megan addressing a group of log cabin republicans this weekend. actual quote.

if i cared, or thought you could express anything coherently (which would mean you have cogent capacities) i'd ask what the hell you're talking about. more importantly, why is it considered news? you're a moron. there's a reason laura never let the bushy twinzies speak in public. please get married and go away.

simple pleasures

yesterday the owner and i were invited to share a red sox game. somebody's boss not using his season's tix that day, so we pounced on the chance.

first, brunch, me and the girls (not very girly, i confess, and nary a pink sox tee among us) which was delicious and some run-ins with people we quite like. champagne and eggs with an unintentionally hilarious server. yeah, good.

the day started cold, but the sun was bright and determined. met up with the owner at the sold-out park and commenced to baseball and guinness. great seats, great game. sox won, even though some of their giants are still struggling. (papi, c'mon now...) a day game at fenway is pure pleasure, truly.

returned here with vague notions of late afternoon sunshine and pizza. owner revised my sound system much to everybody's happiness, although eventually i know it will be to my neighbors' annoyance, lol.

the wine and beer flowed, pizza was eventually had and the sun set over a different baseball game in my park.

my face hurt from laughing so hard.

food, friends, baseball, wine and music. and sex. a very good day. :)

patriotic acts

266 on 2. waterboarding was used 266 times on 2 men suspected of being al qaeada ops.

obama ordered the release of several classified justice department documents regarding torture on al qaeda suspects. bush gladly signed his name on the instructions, and denied it was torture because "no lasting harm" could come, even though historically and internationally the treatments were indeed called TORTURE. obama at least has the human decency to call it what it was and has sworn no more.

according to the ny times:

officers used waterboarding at least 83 times in august 2002 against abu zubaydah, according to a 2005 justice department legal memorandum. abu zubaydah has been described as a qaeda operative. a former C.I.A. officer, john kiriakou, told abc news and other news media organizations in 2007 that abu zubaydah had undergone waterboarding for only 35 seconds before agreeing to tell everything he knew.

he lied.

while jack bauer always cracks his subjects on "24", zubaydah revealed no new information after all his near-drowning.

the same memo also says that the C.I.A. used waterboarding 183 times in march 2003 against khalid shaikh mohammed, the self-described planner of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. mohammed had confessed his role long before being tortured. whether he really was the master mind or is just some schmuck taking the fall like many a mob minion, we don't know.

cheney and bush used opacity and public silence to subvert justice and pervert all that is good about this country -- all the grace and dignity for which the world once admired the united states.

1000's are running through my city's streets today, and many thousands more cheering them on to the finish. on this day we locally commemorate the bravery of a few determined to throw off the shackles of tyranny and live their own lives, free from a government grown too large, too voracious and too cruel.

from thomas jefferson:

experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms (of government) those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.

less than 24 hours after the twin towers fell, while firefighters, police, emt's and civilians clawed through the smoking toxic rubble for survivors, plans were being finalized in the white house to invade iraq. an illegitmate trump and total subversion of national sovereignty. everything moves more quickly than in jefferson's time. even evil.

also from jefferson:

all tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.

only one senator voted against the patriot act in 2001, and most admitted not reading much of it. they rolled over, kneejerked and yelled "yea" to stripping americans of many basic civil liberties.

i'm thankful to our new president and his committment to transparency. i'm only wishing somebody less beholden to the status quo would stand up and call out our former president for what he was: a tyrant guilty of war crimes and crimes against humanity, who has shamed us to the world. while i wait for that, i'll ride my unicorn through the cotton candy forest and watch the glittery smiley seahoses frolic in my personal sea.

america the great...

... big fattie.

the owner and i went to watch game one of the bruins vs. the canadians on thursday. local townie hang that happens to be very hockey-friendly. we'd gone the week before, and it turned out the locals were stranger-friendly too. place was hopping and we were lucky to get seats front and center for the game.

this week they weren't quite as busy but some of the same faces smiled back at us.

eavesdropping as i do, most of the peeps worked in hospitals or at the airport. solid middle class. the accents were harsh and everybody knew everybody's sistah. they're the people who never move away from home.

here's the thing. everybody was SOOOOOOO FAT. fat. fat. fat. the men all were big, but the women were enormous. like, circus-lady big. an especially porcine-faced woman in a pink fleece was having her birthday. she'd already eaten and then polished off a celebratory cake-pan sized brownie with whipped cream. she'd been drinking beer when we arrived, but then switched up to the oh-so-festive sex on the beach after the brownie. i watched the bartender make them. it was a 6-7 oz. pour. (6 count.) so just the booze in each drink was nearly 500 calories. during the game, she had 5. so she drank more than her daily caloric needs in 90 minutes. after dinner with beers and the brownie that was enough for 8 people. plus whatever she'd pig-piled on during the daylight hours.

apple martinis, cosmos, espresso martinis (when did those switch to being creamy drinks? wtf? some dastardly plot to make it even more fattening?) and lots of sex on the beaches. the drinks were large and the pours very generous. good qualities in a local for sure, but i just kept looking around in shock.

massachusetts is actually in the top 10 for "healthiest" states, so we're not as fat as mississippi or louisiana. that hardly seemed believable in that place. then if you look at it relatively, it's very scary.

recently read a long excerpt from the china study. after ww II, many autopsies were done on the young men killed in action. less than 30 years old, prime of life kinda guys. the shocker? nearly all of them had life-threatening artery clogs. of course most of them smoked, and contrary to what we like to think now, their diets were grossly unhealthy. meat, meat, meat, butter and finish dinner with pie. yet, they were much thinner. the average american man now weighs about 30 pounds more than those guys did, while being only one inch taller.

sure the nicotine sped things up for them. but the major difference? activity. americans walk from the house to the car and then sit all day at work, with the greatest exertion likely to be key strokes. i can't tell you how many times i've been met with disbelief that i *carry* groceries on the t, or that i've walked from point a to point b when it's cold.

while i struggle with my deteriorating self, my hormonal betrayal and my bad habits, i resolved that night to move, move, move. i have. i already feel better.

fed time 101

the ad reads:

Going from the Exchange Floor to the Prison Yard?

the owner of this company has revealed to the media that several members of the very anxious madoff family have contacted him to take his crash course for white collar criminals about to enter a world of hurt. although he was sufficiently discreet to not name names, most bets are placed on niece shana, who was the company's compliance officer. (laughing so hard -- tough to type that one.)most of the company's documents have her hancock on them, she is married to a former sec compliance officer, but gee, right before the house of cards collapsed she was honored by the girl scouts as a woman of the year. she can't be all bad, right? but i should think a few calls to martha stewart might be more helpful to shana. can you get enough newspaper strips in jail to make a comfy sit-upon?

a male madoff has also inquired -- perhaps the brother.

"i give people a wakeup call," said mr. levine, who is still on federal supervised release after serving 10 years behind bars for counterfeiting securities. his course costs $850. seems like a bargain when your social skill set is more four seasons than hangin' with busted homies.

below i've pasted some of my favorites from his website (italics mine):

1. Getting Extra Time Off Sentences:(prison is crowded, you're not violent. odds are good.)
2. The Drug Program (toilet tank gin is probably ok)
3. Prevent Being RAPED (krazy glue your anus shut?)
4. Prison Living Conditions (waaaaaaaaay worse than it looks on tv)
5. The Daily Prison Grind (pointless monotony is kinda the point)
6. Your 1st Day What To Bring With (leave your gucci slippers home)
7. Inmate Personal Property (kiss it goodbye after your first beatdown)
8. Inmate Etiquette & Politics (defer to all bad asses -- especially you mr. jew)
9. Dealing With Other Inmates (they will not want to watch glenn beck -- don't ask)
10. Avoiding and Spotting Informants (if you're not doing anything stoopid...)
11. Dealing With Gang Members (skip the "yo mama" jokes)
12. Defusing A Confrontation (squash courts no longer an option)
13. Prison Slang & Lingo (you will never pull this off. see #3 above)
14. Getting A Soft Shoe Permit (they still have minstrel shows?)
15. Religious Services (it will get you out of your cell, just pretend you believe)
16. Food Service-The Dining Hall (it's all spoon food and no egg white omelettes)
17. Microwave Cooking Techniques (even really rich guys can use one of these. c'mon)
18. The Commissary Inmate Store (buy LOTS of cigarettes to help with many issues above)
19. Why Staff Lie & Dislike Inmates (lmfao)
20. Inmate Civil Rights (stop thinking you have them anymore)
21. How To Survive A Prison Riot (hide)
22. Compassionate Release (fake cancer?)
23. Calculating Release Dates(loads of time to carve hash marks into your own arm)

meanwhile, a pair of madoff's mets tickets for yesterday's home opener at citi field fetched $7,500 in an online auction that ended with all the drama of a walk-off home run. two bidders wound up locked in battle on e-bay and drove the final price to twice the pre-sale estimate.

please see my earlier post on "the rich will always be rich".

ahoy, matey

the u.s. naval captain has been rescued, thanks to sharpshooters and darkness. authorized by the president to use "deadly force" the sniper could see a pirate's head and shoulderblades and blammed him. three of the four pirates on board the floating lifeboat were killed, one has been captured.

not having followed the story too closely ( the mouth-breathing by the media was frankly grossing me out), i was unaware that naval boats had been back and forth with the pirates since wednesday, providing water and food. couldn't they have shot just them to hell on one of those friendly outings? i also discovered that women are flocking to the cities where most of the pirates live when not sailing, kidnapping and blackmailing. the men have big houses, fancy cars, copious amounts of drugs and alcohol and several wives, so in a country as thoroughly broken as somalia, it's about as good a plan for a girl's future as the *no* other options she has.

most frequently we don't hear about these ships being seized. companies quietly pay the ransoms, nobody gets hurt and the pirates live to see another profitable day. while they were initially funded by dubious dudes in dubai, they now have plenty of their own cash to upgrade weapons, boats, gps and satellite phones. these are not just out of work fishermen. they are becoming increasingly sophisticated, while extending further outward to sea.

i did a bit of trolling because the barbary pirates kept popping up all over the place. they were state-sponsored, and just like merchants now, the white guys back then decided it was simpler and more cost-effective to pay tribute. president john adams followed this course, while the extorted money soon ballooned to 20% of the federal budget.

although jefferson had counseled against a big navy, his new presidency received a shake-down demand from tripoli of $225,000, plus $25,000 a year. he refused, war was declared and he sent some ships over to kick ass. afterwards offering congress an "oh, by the way..."

historically, back to the kidnapping of julius caesar by the cilicians, it had been found far more effective to squash these pests before they got out to sea. attack them in their home ports, not a little bit, but annihilate them. the ocean is a big place. how big are these anthills where these guys are shacking up? yeah, yeah, black hawk down. guys in flip flops brought down some very pricey birds, and we got trapped in a bad firefight. i'm finding it very hard to believe we can send smart bombs down chimneys, but we can't track pirates once they get out of their rubber boats. clearly we're not tracking them in their boats either.

convoys. safety in numbers -- hello!! even i get that.

weapons. these ships and their crews are unarmed. international waters, blah, blah. these pirates don't just appear out of thin air. with technology, they can be seen long before they get anywhere near their target. plenty of time to get secured weapons out from under lock and pointed starboard until intentions are proven safe.

stop paying. if the incentive goes away, so do the now broke-ass pirates.

stop pretending. somalia is a wreck. nearly 20 years of civil war. there is no infra-structure and no government to rebuild it. millions struggle with hunger and children are too poor to attend school. the millions and millions payed in ransoms each year could be far better spent on a humanitarian military coalition presence.

easy. yeah, that's it.

let's hope capt. phillips will get a few days at home to eat some marshmallow peeps and see his family. let's hope he doesn't feel like he has to go on oprah or *write* a book.

are there women this stoopid?

The world's first "wellness bra", the Brassage, is being released in the US this week, for $59.

Produced by Intimate Health, it promises to "stimulate lymphatic flow" to flush out toxins that other bras might trap. It's billed as a detox bra, because of the massaging bumps built into the sides.

this is an actual product. it is for sale. for real money. while i don't think i would mind my boobs being massaged, i'm only imagining annoying friction and a possible rash from bumps inside my bra.

not to mention this whole detox thing is making me nutty.

the only thing trapped by my bra are my boobs. the happiest part of my day is when they get set free. :)

public service announcement

coats and jackets will soon be packed away. today is a teaser of a day to go without.

ahem.

hola ! chicas and yo, sistahs! if i can see your bloomers cutting into your asscheeks or your cellulite rippling beneath your stretchy jeans, your damn pants be too effin' tight. put down the dunk-accino. step away from the quarter-pounder.

do your bit to make the world a prettier place to see.

those of us walking behind you thank you in advance for your consideration.

more of getting the government we deserve

yesterday, texas state rep betty brown (R -- of course) caused a firestorm during house testimony on voter identification legislation when she said that Asian-Americans should change their names because they’re too hard to pronounce:

“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here? Brown said.

should we start first by telling her that *chinese* isn't a language? or just cut out her tongue with chopsticks so she keeps silently stoopid to herself?

other people's funny numbers

a food forum i visit recently had a thread that has run now to nearly 80 posts. the op's husband eats like a sheltered yet adamant infant, but she has finally triumphed over his envelope of tangy kraft (huh?) with her home-made pasta sauce. she discussed how many cans of tomatoes, how much water and how much meat she used. then asked *how many servings* of pasta this would cover. she referred to some measuring gizmo she owns that told her she had made 2 servings of spaghetti.

how much is a serving, seemed a reasonable question from me, then i offered that everybody likes different amounts and that americans tend to drown their pasta in puddles of sauce. who the hell measures spaghetti sauce? is what really was going through my head. if you make more than you need or use, freeze it for god's sake. never mind my dismissal of who only cooks part of the box? (which the owner finds hilarious, but i chalked up his habit of that to him being so white.) everybody but me owns a microwave -- who doesn't like leftover spaghetti?

post after post... some kindly sharing sorts offered their own recipes, which included teaspoon, and fractions thereof, measurements of salt and pepper. wtf?

i heart harold mcgee and can go food geeky in plenty of ways. but if you've got your little chain of measuring spoons out for something other than baking, put down the dangerous tools, turn off the stove and get thee to an olive garden. toot sweet.

amazing some people ever get dinner on the table at all.

not so much fun with numbers

unemployment rates, bank bail-outs, detroit fixes, union concessions, home foreclosures, people murdered by maniacs -- the news has been filled with numbers ever climbing and alarming.

a little one passed my eyes on-line today: the number of licenses issued by the city of boston for d.b.a. (doing business as) in january-- 0. in february -- 0. usually that number is between 20 and 30. there is no license for "no longer doing business as", or "at all."