republiclowns

with that whole "picture is worth a 1000 words" thing, i was tempted just to post this pic of michele bachmann to share, and let you all find your own layers. however, the story that ran alongside it, plus some other hilarity is too good to take a pass.

next week the republican national committee will hold an "extraordinary special session" (kinda like the x-games without the red bull for old white guys, i guess, or maybe they're trying to get in that "league of gentlemen") in which they will adopt a resolution renaming the democrats "the democrat socialist party". roger simon, writer for the blog "politico", asked this repub if that would force rnc chief michael steele to always call the dems that in speeches and such. when he's presumably in the hizzle. the guy's answer? "who cares?" way to stay in the game, dudes!

a congressman from georgia has offered up a bill to request that president obama declare 2010 "national year of the bible". a long windy breath of pompous heavenly air, his resolution includes this nugget:

"Whereas shared Biblical beliefs unified the colonists and gave our early leaders the wisdom to write the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States, both of which recognized the inherent worth, dignity, and inalienable rights of each individual, thus unifying a diverse people with the right to vote, and the freedoms of speech and vast religious freedoms..."

we'll take a safe bet that he and his co-sponsors (as well as any ignorant interns with keyboards and google) are unaware that many of the founding fathers considered themselves deists and agnostics. they were not thumping the bible at the constitutional convention. that little item about separating church and state, initiated by roger williams which helped get him, and a bunch of other dissenters, run out of town? the dark flip side of the salem witch trials -- with a minister as magistrate and most of the accused land-owning widows with property coveted by the towns? yeah. that.

ok, then, new faces!! while karl rove and dick cheney continue to slither onto talking head shows, trying to spin their legacy of evil and tyranny into "patriotism!" and "we kept you safe against terror! but you're doomed to a fiery apocalypse now, all-jihad in da house!!!", the gop is desperately flailing for a new face. so let's see who's out there... bobby jindal? first indian-american elected to a big office. harvard. rhodes scholar. if you saw even seconds of his rebuttal to obama's speech, he sounded like an idiot. with his state facing a $1.7 billion deficit, he wants to refuse the $4+ billion stimulus money portioned out to louisiana, because of "unspecified strings".

moving on. governor rick perry of texas wants to secede from the union because obama is a pinko-non-amurrican-socialist. also facing record deficits, he refused $550 million in surplus dough for his state's unemployment fund. at an april teabag rally ( can't resist, sorry), he said, "they're overturning the rights we had one by one, making choices that would leave our founding fathers scratching their heads." was he asleep for that whole patriot act thing?

charlie crist from florida. he of the dina lohan orange tan and a well-documented, closeted gay sex life. a moderate, married to a beard. it's only a matter of time before this blows up in a wide stance on gritty videotape in a public restroom or park.

mitt romney. handsome, telegenic and articulate, so he's got all that over the others. mormon. earth is 6000 years old. evolution = no way. he was a successful businessman, so i can't ever decide if he really believes that crap, or simply doesn't want to risk a split with his church. either way, his platforms are same old-same old.

what about the ladies? meghan mccain? john's 24-year old daughter, who has never held a job, never mind an elected office, twitters incessantly and sounds like an idiot whenever given a platform for public speaking. ( i have gay friends! srrrriously!) then again even with that whole verbal disability issue, palin was on the vp ticket.

speaking of, sarah palin and her passel of wasilla-billies just will not go away or shut up. her daughter, bristol, is now some kind of abstinence ambassador for a foundation sponsored by candies' shoes (!!! yes, really. just cuz you wear cheap slutty shoes, doesn't mean you should actually be cheap or slutty? or something.) the ny times interviewed some middle school girls where she made a speech, all of whom said she was basically full of shit and just saying what her mom told her say.

the above clown lady-- michele bachmann, the gay-hating, socialist-hunting, baby farmer from minnesota. awesomeness. she's scaring even the republicans. recently as a show of how open-minded or legit or who-knows-really-wtf, she's been pal-ing around with ron paul. yes. she's been reading "meltdown", which basically calls the new deal a failure and blames the federal reserve for the mess in which we are now mired. she's been attending weekly luncheons and this is a quote from somebody on paul's team:

"I had a feeling she'd have some interest in the book," said Woods, "because she asked some good questions. She was taking notes. She was asking if this or that point could be found in the book. I thought I recognized a sincere person who wanted knowledge, not the usual politician who couldn't care less about what the truth is and just wanted to propagandize."

she brought a pen! and paper! but if she was asking whether or not certain points could be found in the book, does that mean she didn't actually read it, or just didn't understand it? i'm guessing the latter, especially with the way she was trying to poke geitner about whether actions by the fed "could be found in the constitution"? which i'm guessing she's never read either.

polls on social issues show a big generational gap between voters closer in age to republican congressman (median 57) and those under 30. abortion and gay marriage are basically non-issues for the younger set. their attitude of "it's private, it doesn't affect me, why not?" is worlds away from the ultra-cons who seem to hog most of the air-time.

are the dems our saviors? of course not. i'm NOT an idiot, lol. but as long as illiterate wing nuts like palin get book contracts and tv appearances the repubs aren't offering any sort of viable option, are they? it would be interesting in my lifetime to see the demise of a political party and the rise of new other, at the very least.

stay tuned.