sheeple

oprah is the devil yet millions and jillions of women find her the most inspiring and rightest bestest person on the globe. everything she promotes skyrockets in popularity.

this has been a boon for authors with her book club, although i doubt she made anybody read books who wasn't inclined to do so in the first place. they're still flipping through cosmo for sex tips and how not to look so fat in your jeans while they watch oprah and eat ice cream. there was her smiting of jonathan franzen when he expressed discomfort that her majesty's selection of "the corrections" would forever relegate it to a chick book. he was booted from the show and she dropped the book.

there was the come-uppance when she had to admit she'd been duped by james frey with his fantastical lies in "a million little pieces" and the even bigger fatter liar herman rosenblat with his holocaust love story "angel at the fence". lies, lies, damn lies.

she is not infallible, yet her coven blindly follows her every directive and believes she is all the goodest. much like the witches of bacchus, the women are driven to heights of ecstasy their husbands can never hope to match. terrifying, really, that a sweater give-away prompts an estrogen melt-down of hysteria in the studio.

let's not digress about her flock taking diet advice from an obese yo-yo dieter, or the bully pulpits she allows wackadoos like jenny maccarthy (vaccines cause autism) and suzanne somers (bio-identical hormones and taking up to 60 different pills a day. she looks absolutely awful. wan, puffy, haggard. yeah, her "system" must work great.)

with her announcement that she is leaving the network show that made her empress of the world, lots of retrospective on the net. i found out only today that SHE is the beezlebub responsible for the omnipresence of uggs!. i'd seen them years ago in a pic of the baywatch girls, circa the pamela anderson era. so... mid-90s? there was some connection to australian lifeguards and the boots eventually crossed the ocean to california beaches.

in 2003, oprah gave them away to her screaming midwestern menopausals and they continue to be seen everywhere. watching the owner's soccer game on sunday, i was in the minority not wearing them, ffs. they make women slough their feet, sounding like lazy baboons dragging their tails in the dust, and they all look as if the foot is not held in place by the heel, with broken-down sides. since they were made for walking on sand, not the tiled floor at the mall, that may be why. but you know what? they are ugly. ugly. ugly. $150 of fugly.

her diabolical powers of persuasion know no bounds.

are crocs her fault too?