ice, snow, sleet, savage wind, more ice. our first blizzard of the season was a doozy. it had been predicted for days, so i was all stocked up, waiting and warm.i didn't foresee the late night storm that would blow through me though.
editor was early, and very disappointed the flowers were late; they arrived after he did! but they were a lovely unexpected indulgence and look charming on the table in the sun today. my favorite, tulips-- a promise of spring, endearing considering the weather. he had ordered roses, though, lol, so was a bit miffed! dinner was a triumph and the wine paired nicely. very delicate conversation about personal boundaries, and our individual methods for protecting them. he had, of course guessed some of mine, but to be generous, i offered some other nuances. it was scary, i think for us both, but good. and better. our repair upstairs was terrific and more ouchy than ever.
he drifted off easily as men seem always to do, and i cleaned up the last remnants of duck and dessert.
then it hit. i fled to the bathroom, shut the door and turned on the faucet. i burst into tears. on the floor, i sobbed and sobbed, the cat wending his way through my arms and my tears. my sadness was so urgent, i couldn't find or name its source. so i simply gave into it. i felt drained and empty and hurt. and foolish. at last i washed my face, had a bit more wine and joined him in bed.
sleep came quickly, so my personal squall was hard, but fast.
the day after, the sun is extra bright and bounces off the still clean snow, making the day seem to start just a bit earlier than usual. the same goes for me. plenty of job prospecting going on, dinner with the editor at one of my favorite spots, and another night of ouchies in the offing.
outside is frozen and covered with slippery dangerous and potentially vengeful ice. i know i'm not that way inside.
no woman, no cry, i guess, eh?
No comments:
Post a Comment