orange, red, green

my palate began to stir, and my body began to wonder.

it then became a desire. then a craving. and then the "i want's" began piling up, one on the other. crunchy-granola wisdom is that the body signals what it needs, right? after months of only restaurant food and toast, i finally wanted oranges. beets. carrots. spinach. cress. dates. figs. what most folks might consider peculiar cravings, and stuff even more folks never eat, i clearly was in the need for some "c", some "b", and some "a".off to the supermarket. previously, i've had moments of superiority watching the super-sized loaves of white bread and *juice* boxes roll by, in carts attached to wailing kids and michelin moms. i had visions of a rough healthy salad that would set my body back on track. i was patiently prepared to marinate and roast.

the california organic carrots have been ok... but..

apparently the beets are 100 years old because they took almost 3 hours to roast.

the oranges are stringy and sourly stingy.

there were no dates or figs to be had. none. neither fresh nor dried.

there was no spinach, presumably post e. coli. but also no watercress, escarole, rabe, fennel or arugula.

the greens area of the produce department has a grossly enthusiastic sprayer thingie. other than that, everything else is weak, wan and over-priced. i cannot be the only person to think this. can i?

only the worst xenophobic snob would assume they all had bad eating habits before they came to this country; my ex-fiancee's el salvadorian mother was a spectacular cook... did wic cards and the dearth of affordable produce make all my neighbors fat? what confuses me is that there is a nearby weekend greenmarket, rain or shine, very cheap. it's always crammed with ladies elbowing you out d'way for lemons 10 for $1, or apples 3# for $1. it's a hustling-bustling-hucksta kinda place; prices are so friendly, is it the language barrier that keeps my neighbors away? for me the difficulty is in buying enough just for one. but i'll be making the effort from now on. eventually i'll get better at the math of it.

for years, i've managed with the condiments in my fridge and the staples in my pantry. there also was the once a week binge for the g.c., and i worked with that. but clearly, my body is asking for more.

i'm trying to get better attuned to my inner voices. nobody else is telling me anything these days.