phew

what a relief. yesterday progressed, smoothly and pleasantly, and i gradually realized the source of my ambivalence. it had been niggling and growing to the point where i could barely drag myself out of bed yesterday. the lack of sleep during the night and my financial issues had me tossing and turning, but there was something akin to dread brooding inside me. i feared hating it instantly -- an instant replay of my last job -- the place, the people, the food, everything. instead, everyone was nice, i was introduced all day as the company's new wine expert lol, all the plates looked good and my lunch was delicious. however it was the general spirit about the place that was most heartening. upbeat, happy people doing their jobs with just standard minor amounts of waitron bitching.

my last two experiences have both had the morale of supermax prisons. miserable negative staffs that hated coming to work, and truly, deservedly so. why they stayed was out of my purview, but was incredibly soul-sucking. constantly exhausted by trying to buck people up and build spirit, while getting so little back is a thing i cannot do again. it looks like i won't have to here.

when i left yesterday it was sunny and bright outside still. people and dogs in the commons tossing frisbees and enjoying the day. proud grads and parents milling about. for a change, i felt happy too.

the owner has already given me a huge *perception* project and people seem very pleased to have me on board. my training is being fast-tracked, condensed from 4 weeks to 2, to get me up and running in my niche more quickly. yippee.

other than having to schedule a measles vaccination, lol, i feel so much better.

phew indeed.