i don't know what's wrong with me. why don't i feel more excited? because my last job was such a horror? because i'm hired to affect significant change under an owner who is notoriously resistant to it? (hello? original operating systems from 16 years ago? lawdy. ) everybody says he's fair but difficult. as long as he's not psycho, i don't care. he's a businessman, not a chef, so i'm hoping that will make him slightly more sensible.
i am pleased that i seem to have turned a corner regarding undue emotional investment in these positions. i know it's all stuff i can do in my sleep, and by all accounts he leaves his managers alone to do their jobs. perfect. no cokehead breathing down my neck and going berserk on regular benders. if only i could get hired as a fixer. temporary contracts to get everything in order then move on to the next place before i hate it. owners are too loathe to open their books. i've considered it, but my situation is too precarious right now.
at last though i'll be back to a routine and it is actually significantly more responsibility than i've had. so yeah, finally a step up, rather than sideways. 3 stores, not one. 3 very busy stores. the position did not exist prior to me, so i'm hoping to shape it.
it doesn't help that these coming weeks the purse-strings will be cinched even tighter. god only knows when i'll get my first paycheck, and i've got this black hole of debt yawning at my toes. the financial mess will take so long to sort.
i'll boil, and hit the pillow early. i'll wear my positive mask and nice shoes. put my head down and finally have at it. i hope. at least i can stop buying groceries.
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