in the light

"all i wanted was to paint sunshine on the sides of houses." so he did. over and over. i've always equated edward hopper with isolation, alienation, the fading away of the old. however, this exhibit was the first time i'd seen so many of his paintings in one place. alas too much focus (imo) on his cape ann and cape cod landscapes and the strange omission of his paris series.

he truly was a genius of light. that particular slant of it early or late in the day. through a window it lit up a woman in shadow who was looking through still another window. in not one painting did her solitude seem peaceful, only sad. she was always still. not at rest, but in longing. even when there were two or more figures in scene, they remained disconnected. the painter's perspective made me feel so invasive--more like a watcher. seeing such moments of pained solitude and unreconciled intimacy made me feel like a shamed guilty voyeur.i know the aloneness of hopper's women. i know their sadness and their pain. i will no longer allow myself to remain motionless within it.

outside the museum was midday sun. no shadows cast. warmth on my face and forward motion. of the day and for me.