a dead american discovered in a bangkok hotel is not going to have a happy ending -- and likely did not get that way because of one as a bonus from a "love-you-long-time" pro. make it an american celebrity and the odds grow slimmer. actor david carradine found hanging by his neck while on location had my circle and me waiting for the rest of the tawdry details.
sho' nuff, naked with a cord around his throat and genitals. his lawyer and family are crying foul, that it was not suicide, nor accidental, a la michael hutchence. earlier today a thai tabloid leaked a supposed photo of the crime scene. it's from the rear, so thankfully no cock shot, but his hands are quite clearly above his head. jerking off would have been impossible, unless his "patience, grasshopper" training lent him some tantric tricks and he could do it hands-free? dunno. it will be weeks before the autopsy is complete and details released, and sadly, by then, it will be old news and any links to perps long gone in a southeast asian summer storm. it's a vulgar end to an interesting guy's life. "kill bill" indeed.
a good friend and i touched on it yesterday, laughing in that thoroughly modern way about how seamy it was, especially the thai hotel aspect. years ago, the cord on the cock would NOT have been in the news. about a decade ago, i remember a long article on auto-erotic asphyxiation (ny times? too lazy to search) and how it was most often the family requesting it be listed as "suicide" on the death certificate. that seemed to them less shameful than an accidental death by extreme wanking. one woman fought her in-laws tooth and nail, because a suicide meant she wouldn't get any of her husband's life insurance. she took them to court and won. i doubt she goes there for thanksgiving anymore.
my friend is gay, so by some people's accounts, has had "kinky sex". but for the buttsex, he assures me it was always very vanilla, and the brief glimpse i gave him into mine, via our being discovered way back, left him very uncomfortable.
he was flabbergasted that anybody could find this sort of activity arousing. i'm thinking the assessed risk is so extreme in his head that it would crush any pleasure potential.
i'm no babe in the woods and i know people actually do it and most manage not to die. however, i can't think of any *relatively* safe way to do this kinda thing by yourself. you're hanging and choking for air, for god's sake, with the end of it being a mind-blowing orgasm. in that state, few are of a mind to make a split-second decision.
we all know i have little risk aversion, and that i score high, even for so-called "high sensation seekers". i crave intensity, perv on pain and fear. terror has held me in his grip and i only want to dance again when he lets go and i collapse to the floor sobbing and incoherent. being strangled during sex, choked, denied the oxygen i need to live is one of the most erotically charged sensations i am allowed. is there anything more vulnerable than my life under his very thumb? anything more formidable than a man taking that power to its edge?
it's not something i would ever do alone. it's not *just* the blood rush alone that gets me. it's somebody else deciding whether i live or die. yeah, it's more convenient for him if i don't expire, cuz then the cops don't get involved, but there is a long sliding scale between breathing freely and death. it would be sheer idiocy to do it to myself by accident.
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