as heard here

• two girls, aged eight or ten, conspiring, giggling -- cute. one says: "i don't want to be funny anymore. i'm tired of being funny. funny is like sooooo two months ago."
  

• an april/december couple. (she just looked way harder-used than a may, ok?) he: "do you know where mongolia is?" she: "what's mongolia?" he: "have you ever heard of genghis khan?" she: "who?" couple beats of silence. she: "is he a rapper?" he: "never mind."
  

• the trailer whore at my work: "so like last night i was out and this really like really old guy was like saying that like he always like comes into the bar like just for like tea? but like he like brings his own, so like, only gets like hot water from them? so like they don't even like charge him? so like he was saying he feels like really bad. it was really funny. like so funny." on what planet is that funny in any way? *like* anywhere?
  

• last night i complimented (brown-nosed) a prickly partner of the company: "you look great -- like you've been basking in the sun." she: "well, you know i drive a convertible." (gag) me: "perfect time of year for that!" she: "and last friday i spent the day playing golf." (gag)me: "that's great." she: "the rest is all thanks to sarah jessica parker." me: "i'm sorry, what? was she at your house, lol?" she: "sj is the girl for garnier, and i love her, so now i buy all their stuff. it's great. i love all that stuff. i love her. i'll buy anything she likes." me: "wow, i need to get out more!" wtf, lady. you're 55, not 12. jeebus.