that being said

some things we ache to hear. a few days ago, i was greeted with an ocean of so much love, so much devotion, i was nearly swept off my feet. it was something for which i'd ached, yet could never ask. that expression, "i love you," followed by the again and never repealed promise of "always". i guess he thinks i *know* it, but with the rippling waters now beneath our feet, i don't feel certain about much. except for uncertainty. ;)

it was uttered after a series of actions and reactions that would have led most to the police or the loony bin, lol. we even joked that morning about "a day in the life" around here. mon dieu! finding a normal between and for *us* will be a thing of ever changing fluidity. it scares and thrills me.

i am a creature of the literal. "what did you mean when you said/did that iota of a thing?" he is a creature of the bigger picture, "what do you mostly mean most of the time?" of course, he doesn't ask obliquely. he observes, he plants seeds, he challenges. so our ways of acting and understanding are vastly different. no different than before, just now with less room between to hedge.

there was a long study of a painting today in a movie i watched. a man was being flayed alive.

a certain class of victorians had a whole lot of extra time thanks to the industrial revolution. (and slaves and stuff in the west indies and colonies; props please to triangular trade.) make the urchins work longer/harder/more and bring me my mock turtle soup, bi-yatch!

a pretty side of this and the point of my meandering here is floriography, the language of flowers. a secret code grew and was transported between gardens, homes and lovers. some flowers had ancient significance, but the code got pretty elaborate in the land of corsets and smelling salts. even whether the poesy was handed lefty or righty, forward or backward, ya know? however, in proper and upstanding society, a certain simple language was known, and i can imagine the gentle yet erotic flutter of opening the box of blooms.

at least since aphrodite, roses have stood for love and passion. red for true love, pink for desire and perfect happiness and white for eternal love. the colors together imply unity.

in many vineyards, roses are planted at the ends of vine rows. they are sensitive and show distress from pests and such before the grapes. masochists for the good fight. :)