spent the weekend with the owner and all 3 nights were about the music. or let's say were supposed to be about the music.
friday, we made a brief appearance at a local hang. upfrontedness: the place has little pretension to be anything other than what it is. budwesier chandeliers, keno, pool tables, dart boards, $8 pitchers. i've never had anything but friendly service from the gals behind the bar. i've got all my teeth, which puts me ahead of most of the regulars, but i've only ever gotten smiles from them, and never been made to feel unwelcome. plus i kinda like a "real" joint. not to be confused with the "faux" dive bars, like lucky's and bukowski's, that cropped up in the 90's.
an acquaintance of the owner's was playing, and as he is wont to do, we made out to show our support. collectively they were not much better than a bunch of high school kids in somebody's basement banging away, like monkeys without thumbs, on christmas presents of fenders and gretsches. they seemed to be enjoying themselves which was more the point. the owner shook some hands and we made it an early night.
next night was a cd release party for a band that includes one of the nicest guys i have met in a very long time. the guy so nice you can't figure out why some clever cookie hasn't scooped him up, except to realize girls his age are still chasing bad boys and telling guys like him they"are too nice." and "let's just be friends." all the band mates are decent chaps too and i've seen them play before. they don't suck and in the year or so i have known them have come leaps and bounds.
what's the problem, noodle, you ask? the venue. ack. although a stone's throw from the owner's door, the place just sucks. total 1000% suckage. last year we went a few days after it opened for this same band. doors opened at 9:00. people were streaming in and we got some comfy seats in great eye-line of the stage.
amble up to the bar for brews. a kid is stocking the cooler. young chicks in slut costumes are rushing about, but not doing a thing. i finally ask the barback and he tells me the bar isn't open yet. wtf? why are you charging a cover and letting people in? there is a bar downstairs, we could have cooled our heels down there in the meantime. it begs the bigger question of why nobody was in to stock at like, oh, 8:00? whatever. downhill from there. barwench so stoopid she couldn't use her bottle opener. the decor looked like sybil and all her split personalities went shopping at a foreclosed nightclub auction. just stoopid. lit up margaritaville palm trees, go-go-cages, cheesy booths with dumbass names. a fetid wall fountain frothing foamy ooze. just awful.
the sound? impenetrable at best. bass, bass, bass. then more bass, bass, bass.
so under duress and in an elephant in the room triad, i'm dragged there again. same shit, different day. bar not ready, (bar manager 101: people at a bar want to drink. they want to drink right away. they then get tipsy early. THEN, they drink even more. if you're not ready to roll at the opening bell, you are losing money. oh, and, if you were maximizing your profits there, perhaps you could comp a few beers for the guys playing instead of being so fucking miserly?) barsluts doing nothing but flashing their beavers, (uh, what's a seabreeze?) ALL the downstairs taps are out of service. it was after midnight before a cocktail whore came over to ask if any of us wanted a drink. she'd been flitting about all night and i'd never once seen her carrying a single thing. 2 of 4 toilets backed up with paper and feces at 10:00. i thought it impossible, but the sound was even worse. so bad, i didn't care enough even to get up and take a look at the guys on stage. so shitty, that if the same bands played on my deck, i wouldn't recognize a single song. so god-awful, that the promoter commented on how many peeps leaving complained that the sound was for shit. (this guy is so out of his head, he thought they were out of their minds!) the place is truly one of the most god-awful shit-holes i have ever been in.
sunday, we came into town, headed for one of the regular hangs. this place is a bare-bones gem. (regardless of how the above shitty shit-hole self-monikers.) great beers on tap, cheap prices for city standards, barkeeps who can pour a proper pint, make a generous cocktail and manage to make eye-contact when busy. the sound is just spot on, no matter who we see or when. NO COVER. EVAH. a friend of mine is a member of one of the best bands this city has ever spit out and they are back together. bygones indeed gone and they sound fucking amazing. guitar, harmonica, cocktail kit for drums and a low-strung thingie for bass. it's rock-n-roll like it oughta be: loud, dirty and with a sense of humor.
not every band is as good as these guys. in fact, damn few. i know that. but if the rest of it falls even remotely within those lines... a few drinks and some decent sounds, ya know -- a good time, shouldn't be all that hard to get just right. why is it then? huh?
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