let us count the ways...
up-front apologies to bill and leaving aside my aversion and overexposure to expensive weddings and even the institution of marriage. i will discount the behind-the-scenes mayhem at my place of employ that's concurrent with most events. at least once a weekend i do a hammah-dance of "can't touch this." but this one?
a glorious day that should make the entire world wish it lived in this city. sunny, with that slightly briny breeze blowing sailboats across the charles and frisbees and footballs across the commons.
5-figure wedding.
11:15 scheduled start-time for ceremony. 90% of the guests fidgeting in their seats. no groom. dad whips out his cell. he's looking for parking. huh? you bought validated parking in the garage. while he claims to be circling the block with his homies, bride is hurling upstairs, alternating with sips of champagne.
chatting up the officiant while we all wait, he tells me in their pre-whatever interview, the husband-to-be seemed "miserable." silently, i wonder if this is an expensive shot-gun wedding.
11:25: groom arrives. ok, we can start. nope. neither the groom's mother nor the bride's father is yet on-site. what kind of parent shows up late for their own kid's big day?
11:45: at last we can go. i help arrange the bride for her grand entrance. her 4-foot train is filthy with shoe-prints. nothing to be done now. ffs, who was stomping on her dress before she even saw anybody?
"i do." everybody claps and cheers.
reception: pictures, drinking, happy people oh-so-badly dressed. "what not to wear" should have been filming. weird, kind of, because the bride looked storybook pretty and her bridesmaids too were elegant in taupe satin cocktail dresses that were perfect for an afternoon wedding. very wise she hadn't asked an aunt for help with all that.
meal: usual hiccups of "oh, i can't have dairy," and "oh, my kid can't have wheat," blah, blah. we're used to that.
appetizers: bridal attendant returns to the kitchen with groom's plate of shrimp. he's ALLERGIC to it. shellfish of any kind will kill him. WHAT? his wife didn't know this? or didn't care? he never saw the menu? later, i discover together they have a 12-year-old son. even if they went their separate ways for awhile as young accidental parents sometimes do, how could this have escaped everybody?
people in unhappy or unraveling relationships often complain of their partner's lack of consideration or self-centeredness. i have been a painfully close witness to the disenfranchisement this creates, as well as the resulting resentment and heartbreak. with the reality of human nature, i can understand the deterioration that may occur through years, particularly in people who were never very outer-directed in their empathy.
my family's fractured dynamic never wove a "happily ever after" sampler pillow for me. but this? some ladies' magazine my mom read used to (?) have a column called "can this be marriage be saved?" i often thought it should be called "should this marriage be saved?" horrible but obvious question on this couple's wedding day. jeebus.
No comments:
Post a Comment