trapped in amber

memory plays cruel tricks, and one of the worst is that in our heads, everybody remains as last we saw them. this can be misty and kind, as in the friend or lover we never picture with 10 (or) more years on him. i'm not one for criss-crossy karma paths and such, and "oh! maybe we weren't quite ready in a former reincarnation, but this time..." over is over, no matter how pink the mist and how fondly we remember what-have-you. yet i think partners/lovers/fuckers need to give each other credit for possible growth. i've never liked milk, but that doesn't mean the rest of me is carved in stone too, ya know?

i don't think we shift our core. rather, it's that we learn or choose to change our responses, to better suit that center. that part that we gradually learn to accept and honor, without false choices, without guile.

"remember when i did x, which made you do y?" yes, i do, but that was years ago, and i'm not certain i'd react quite the same way, so why are *you* ?" (generic/royal you, of course.) in *your* head, am i that limited ? there is no room for change or growth ? i see *you* behaving in new ways. i know that i am too.

do you see?

i can no longer just stay still.